I wanted to be a developer, and create the kind of games that I wanted to play. Now, I just want to survive.
I feel that there is some world that others were brought into, that I was left too long to believe that I am a part of it, and I suffered a lot, trying to have the normalcy that others take for granted.
This is not my world, I don't belong in it.
My goal is to become independent enough to not have to worry about other humans exploiting me at all, or die trying.
I have an average IQ and interest in many subjects, but my operating memory is confirmed borked, I have heavy ADHD symptoms, and the most ADHD unfriendly life you can imagine.
It really does feel impossible to make meaningful advancements.
But I do feel that, even if you can eventually memorize and build on knowledge, there is just a world of difference in what a 70 and 130 IQ person can do.
That is very interesting, at 29? I'm about to get diagnosed for ADHD a month from now.
I attribute this to gaining to ability to stand up for yourself near the end of your twenties, whilst before, they just pacify you and keep you unaware, unt you suffer enough.
I have an average IQ and interest in many subjects, but my operating memory is confirmed borked, I have heavy ADHD symptoms, and the most ADHD unfriendly life you can imagine.
It really does feel impossible to make meaningful advancements.
But I do feel that, even if you can eventually memorize and build on knowledge, there is just a world of difference in what a 70 and 130 IQ person can do.