I wanted to be a developer, and create the kind of games that I wanted to play. Now, I just want to survive.
I feel that there is some world that others were brought into, that I was left too long to believe that I am a part of it, and I suffered a lot, trying to have the normalcy that others take for granted.
This is not my world, I don't belong in it.
My goal is to become independent enough to not have to worry about other humans exploiting me at all, or die trying.
Fairly sure it's moral context, and to society in general. Like, you know, between one or another average person (not serious offenses or feats). Like is the guy who was a drunkard lesser? Like a stain on their soul.
Like, I think at least...at the time it was about moral value. Like, the permanent kind. I specifically am thinking about more subtle stuff. Like for example: my co-workers sound almost outraged when I say I want to continue education, because I should have studied earlier, and so they think I deserve to spend my life sweating and bleeding.
There's no "redemption" here, no meritocracy, no ladder.
So I noticed that there seems to be these unwritten rules between people that go against the official rules of society. Like if they believe someone was hard working early in life, they outright treat them better and let them get away with more shit. Others effort and suffering is put down, as if it matters less.
See what I mean?
So how common do you think this is? And what is your personal opinion if who, if anyone, should be worth less? (I am more inclined towards seeing people as worth more, not less. With the exception of extremely bad people).
"Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong"
Made quite a few enemies and traumas by being paranoid af.