go away. you are a weirdo if you are reading this.
in the USA therapy typically isn't available unless you have $500+ or more a month to spend.
Even if you can find a therapist who takes insurance, you will wait a year and it will still cost you $200-300.
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one of my friend has a pretty elaborate garden setup.
he has a groundhog execution chamber too. he has to gas and kill about 6 of them each year.
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I am a successful gardener.
You can't and don't want to eat 20lbs of tomato in a week. I use maybe 2-4lbs and the rest of it rots or has to be given away. I'm lucky if consume 1/4 of what I produce.
And that's how crops come in, all at the same time in abundance. It's not like you can pick 4 tomatoes each day and they just hang out for weeks on the vine. There is about a 4-6 week widow in which all the stuff you have spent 5 months growing, is edible off the vine. You start in April and then you don't really get anything until August, and then by Mid Sept, the plants stop producing and are dead by Oct.
And if you want to preserve it, that's a lot more work and you need the space and equipment to store dozens and dozens of jarred/canned veg. And at that point it's no longer a small kitchen garden.
oh and by the way if you give me that 'community sharing!' stuff. no. literally everyone's crops are also coming in at the same time. that's why you see people leaving baskets of veg on the stops all around and nobody takes it, because they already have their own from their own gardens.
That is very different from a commercial farm who is able to have dozens of rotating crops and crop varieties with the expertise to manage it and also the ability to distribute it commercially.
Sometimes he is spot on, other times the guy seems like is just shrilling the therapy industrial complex, but hard to see how he couldn't given he's an influencer.
I think of it like physical therapy. If you do the work you eventually won't need the therapist, that is the goal.
But a lot of people just refuse to do the work. But at least with a PT they won't waste your time on years of PT if you aren't trying to make progress.
You’re just paying too much money to vent at someone.
This is what a lot of folks in therapy want. They don't want change, they just want someone to vent to and validate themselves.
I also notice... those are the same people who go around demanding and claiming everyone also needs therapy and that if you aren't actively in therapy you are in denial about your issues or something.
Because I don't want to hang out with weird and immature people. That's why.
They will also eventually blame you if you become close to them. Because nothing is ever their fault.
Yep. She also tried to convince me I was abused as a child. I wasn't. She was just trying to maximize my vulnerability to weaponize it so I couldn't leave her, because she was one of those crazy co-dependent types.
No she was. On the surface. She was the only girlfriend I ever had who cooked, or bought me gifts, and who didn't hate me for my hobbies and friends. Most women I meet on first dates reject me straight up for my hobbies and interests and many of my other girlfriends hated/resented me for them, and never in a million years would ever do something nice for me like buy me a gift.
I'm much happier being single. Since I went through therapy my salary has tripled and lots of other great things, but I still exclusively attract horrible women. I just don't date them anymore. The biggest red flag now is I have a dog and a cat, and almost every woman who is interested in me HATES either dogs or cats, or both. On dating apps I regularly get messages like 'oh hey would you get rid of your cat/dog if we hit it off?' It's wild. But at least now I spend my money on myself, and not trying to make some emotional black hole of a person 'happy' by buying them crap.
Yeah, that's a good one. I'm usually not snappy enough to have a comeback when it happens.
But it is a good flag that I don't want to interact with that person anymore, and they probably don't want to interact with me anyway. I def have had a few relationships that ended over that type of response... and usually when you break up with them they start screaming and threatening you...
It was a decade ago. I moved on.
The big kicker, is this woman was a professional therapist. And the therapist I saw two years later... basically walked me though how she had violate every professional ethics code of therapy, and that was basically when I really was like 'oh wow'.
She had repeated try to diagnose me to win arguments and manipulate me. The funniest part is when I would take the tests she gave me for whatever she thought i had and score way outside of them... because I was not anything, she was a terrible person trying to control me and freaking out that I wasn't controllable. Hence why she resorted to violence finally, because that's what abusers do once their abusive words stop working.
She also talked shit about her patients and colleagues in vivid detail. But at the time I was like 27, I had no clue about the ethics of therapy professionals and how fucked up what she was doing was. I was totally in love with her too, wtf did I know. What sucks is was the nicest person I have ever dated, still too this day. Every other woman I ever dated basically hates me overtly rather than tries to manipulate me.
Yes, a lot of people internalize things as their fault. I had that issue with relationships. I thought if my ex cheated on me, it was because I had failed or not tried hard enough... I was wrong.
Similar with abusive relationships. If you had been a better child dad/mom wouldn't have beaten you... moving on is realizing that you had zero control over that situation and the fault was entirely your dad/mom. But a lot people can't dissociate emotionally to begin to see things that way, esp if they are still hung up parental approval.
I'm in my 40s and it's terrifying to me how many people I meet who are still hung up on parental approval or angry at their parents for not doing more for them... it's pathetic.
You can't change your past.
People who incessantly dwell on 'what could have been' or 'should have been' will never move forward. Often it's not even trauma, it's just that they feel like their past-life was 'unfair' because someone else had it better than them and they are aggrieved.
And my favorite part is when you are relatively happy and have let it go and they fault you for it, like you're some asshole for not dwelling about someone did to you 20 years ago. A couple of years ago I met this girl from my high school randomly and she would kept bringing up all these things and people I had zero memory of that she was so mad about and was angry with me that I barely remembered any of it...
Oh man. My ex physically attacked me in broad daylight, full on slapping and pushing, then kept texting me how she didn't really do it and I had imagined it and if she did it wasn't that bad. I broke up with her, obviously.
Then months later when I had a new girlfriend she kept calling me and leaving me voicemails how I was a cheating bastard and a terrible awful person for lying to her and betraying her trust and love...
And anyone who hears that story basically tells me I am exaggerating and there is no way a woman would ever hit a man, but if she did, I must have done something awful to deserve it.
it's a convoluted rant blaming white women for trumps win, or something. because if only they were the right kind of feminist they'd have seen the light! or something
I particularly enjoyed the random injection of NA land issues, as if that's somehow the fault of white middle-class feminism?
Wild stuff. But your typical leftist lemmy rant that is completely out of touch and incoherent and blames other people for being ignorant fools for not being their particular flavor of leftism. Because if only everyone believed what they did, we'd live in a socialist utopia where injustice would not exist and butterflies would fly out of everyone's assholes when they farted.
a lot of black people are homophobic, sexist, and conservative. and racist.
both things can be true.
this idea that black people are all progressive liberals is just a projection from white progressive liberals complete lack of interaction with people outside their little enclaves. they aren't.
black voters are largely democratic, yes, but they are typically not progressives on social issues.
What everyone forgot, esp on the Dem/liberal side, is you win by buying a coalition of voters around various issues on which they can find some mutual ground. Which is exactly what Trump did in '16 and '20 and the Democrats did with Obama in '08 and '12.
Trump focused on the border, economy, and other rhetoric around which a lot of people found common interest. And racism was one of those interests. Many Hispanic voters also wanted the border closed. My Asian friends parents were Trump supporters, because they were anti-immigration. They were first gen immigrant and they hate new Asian immigrants coming here.
To frame an argument like that is to say through subtext that no act of reformation can ever be enough.
That's the point though. When you frame it that way you turn it into an extreme issue, to which you allowed an extreme reaction. You can never acknowledge progress or growth or change. It's can therefore be perpetual ragebait. And Americans eat this up. They love it.
One of the key tenants of modern leftist ID politics is that racism is a form of original sin that can never be washed clean, and often ti goes so far to claim that being white is makes you irredeemable racist, thus you own an infinite debt to minorities. And you must spend your life perpetual seeking forgiveness for your racism and being forever vigilant at any possibly racist thoughts you or anyone you know has.
Where the person thinks they started from nothing no matter how elevated their position was.
In America, this is the internalized narrative that everyone has, it's our national mythology.
I'll do you one better. I am a working-class born American, who went to Harvard and became part of the upper-middle class. Many people I meet in my adult life, tell me I should have never been born because my parents were unable to provide me with college/grad school education out of their own money. They actively hate and resent the idea of people working their way up in life because it makes them feel bad about themselves. Sometimes I get told that my lack of wealth, makes me MORE privileged than them. Literally last month I was out with someone whose parents had PhDs, who started lecturing me no how 'oppressed' they were by having such successful parents, and my uneducated rural upbringing was 'more privileged' than theirs because 'your starting point was so much lower and therefore it was easier for you to achieve things'. It was wild. But I encounter such attitudes very frequently. It's basically the sentiment that affirmative action is cheating and allowing 'unworthy' minorities to attend schools and 'displacing' more deserving wealthier white/asian students.
The upper classes do not want anyone to achieve what they have, they want to horde it for themselves. In their own minds, they are the victims of an evil and undeserving working-class who wants to steal from them.
Most people are racist. Some of the biggest racists I ever knew were Asian and Hispanic.
It's just white racism is considered wrong and bad, and the other kind of racisms are not, because the white media industry is obsessed with self-flagellating itself over white on black racism as begin the only legitimate racism.
There is also a massive issue with asian on black, and black on asian, racism. But White people don't know about it or talk about it, because white people are mostly obsessed with racism in terms of their own guilt, rather than understanding how it operates systematically across various groups. A lot of Trumps minority supports were for him because he's racist and they agree with him.
I am from Boston, northeast has always been super racist and still is.
We just hide our racism by using different words, like 'those people'. Go to any town/city meeting and you will see 50% of the people going up to talk about their 'concerns' using phrases like that. It's all very veiled and vague, for sure, but it's incredibly obvious what they mean. Being racist here is 100% cool as long as you are not doing it directly.
And hell, most of my white progressive anti-racists friends, are very very uncomfortable around non-white people. I had the 'privileged' of growing up a lower-income mixed race community, but most of my peers have zero experience with non-white people.
yeah but more pictures of cats and dogs.