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Madzielle

@ Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

Posts
14
Comments
453
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • The Masculinity Scam | The manosphere’s campaign strategy

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  • My husband's father is very much like this too. The best parenting advice I have ever got was from him: "sometimes you just have to love them (your kids) through it (the hard thing)".

    My husband, repects, trusts, and loves his father. He's always there, he never points blame, but is just all around emotionally available, and supportive to all his children, teaching them what he can, and always with an open heart/mind. It's really beautiful to see, as a person who has never expierenced what a good dad is myself. And now, My husband has been helping me raise my son, not even his, since he was 6, with the same dedication and emotional support. This is the "gift that keeps giving" I want for my son (the joke being the gift that keeps giving is generational trauma). The gift of having generations of not perfect, but good, accountable, at peace with themselves, dads.

    Im so glad your father was good to you. It is absolutely something to cherish.

    Being "strong" and having a solid "sense of masuclinity" (which can mean so many things, I dont know what words to use here), are covered under emotional regulation. Emotional regulation, is dependable, and dependable is just a good trait for anyone to have. In the past, something a "man is", one could say the word, dependable. "I can depend on my father (for support)" is, so freaking huge imo.

    It takes strength to overcome hard, boisterious feelings. To regulate them, and tackle a problem with logic, in place of exlposions. To take a moment to breathe, lower your blood pressure before opening your mouth, and give space for your feelings and undersranding them as such. It is easy to explode with emotions, and act "big and tough" like a cock with his feathers puffed up for battle; it is not easy always, to stay calm, and approach things with EQ.

  • The Masculinity Scam | The manosphere’s campaign strategy

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  • Young boys will discern threats over-zealously thinking everyone’s out to get them

    My son has severe emotional regulation struggles all his life. He's been in therapy since he was 7. I found it really interesting one day, when he was 8 or 9, I seemingly out of the blue, asked him, "do you feel like people are out to get you?" He said, yes, very sternly.

    The answer honestly surprised me. I saw the question on some form I did for myself (in therapy) and I thought to ask him, not really sure why. But I am glad I did. Ive been working with him on this since. A big part of what I am trying to give him is a healthy sense of self so he doesnt feel this way.

    Boys need to learn how to understand their emotions and how their actions make them look to others,

    This is the other big chunk of it. I noticed nearly all of the "grown men" in my terrible bloodline, did not possess this skill. Again, with help of a whole ass therapy team, I am trying to give my (fully nerodiverent) son these skills. To identify how we are feeling using words, specifics with broad vocab, just doesnt come to everyone easily, and half the battle it seems, is to beable to recognize our emotions for what they are. Then you have a chance for positive change and regulation through the tough emotions.

    Another big chunk, is.. seriously, fathers need to love thier kids and be present, and set a good example for thier sons. A father not doing this, for anykid, fucks em up, but especially our sons. They need positive "masculine" role models if they stand a fighting chance to not become so vexxed they ruin thier relationships with others (and honestly themselves too), from what Ive seen in life.

    and goes without saying, kids need humans to raise them, not an aglorythm.

  • Taylor Farms Spent Big on MAGA and Anti-Regulatory Lobbying Before Diarrhea Outbreak

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  • ALL thier shit is one sale at the store right now, for the cheapest Ive ever seen it, No Fucking Way am I buying it ever again. Havnt bought Goya since the first rump admin, now it's taylor. Lots of stock in the stores, it hassame a giggling

  • Pete Hegseth's pastor says the punishment for being gay in the "ideal world" is execution - LGBTQ Nation

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  • that the priest should go on being allowed to rape young boys?

  • Taylor Farms Visited White House Before Getting Outbreak Reprieve

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  • I really liked thier chili mango salad kit. The only salad kit I ever got infact.

    Wont be buying that again I guess.

  • Modern Gaming - Deathbulge

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  • I hear you. Really. I dont think Ive ever seen a CoD type player play their game with low frustration though lol But I understand. Felt the need to voice "it's not all of us!" is all :)

  • Modern Gaming - Deathbulge

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  • While there is some truth to this, as an almost exclusive console gamer, I play hella indie games. SolarPunk this month, Ive also 300 hours in stardew valley, Indika was a cool story game, inKONBINI was really nice too, Im trying to think of others, The Long Dark, Limbo, (just downloaded Inside yesterday) but Ive played so many smaller indie games on console.

    I recognize the monopoly/issues, I dont pay for gamepass, but I do have access. I have played so many smaller/indie games, I might not have tried because it is on gamepass. Ive even bought some after trying them there first, like HouseFlipper 1&2.

    Yes Ive heard people say I play videogames all the time, and Ill be like, oh yeah what do you play? and they say, Call of Duty, and I know to exit the conversation. But, we out here, I activley try the smaller games, all the time.

    The only games I have on steam (we have a Lonovo Leigon Go) is Civ 6, Paralives and Rust. It's kind of a shitty set up I have, with a tiny tiny bluetooth keyboard. It hurts my hands so I dont play it as much. And Rust hasnt worked since the jungle update anyway, I get like 25fps. Its stupid

  • Modern Gaming - Deathbulge

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  • Right now I am hitting endgame in SolarPunk. I fucking love it.

    Im the type, if a game hands you a gun, and says go kill the bad guys, Ill pass. It's very clear in this game, it will not be for everyone, I however, have sunk 60 hours into it in the last few weeks. It's for me, and I love it.

  • Modern Gaming - Deathbulge

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  • Back in the day, I used to just look up the different indie film festivals, see what was nominated/won, go watch the trailer, and pirate the ones I was interested in.

    Found a lot of films this way.

  • Modern Gaming - Deathbulge

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  • The only mobile game Ive purchased is Monument Valley, I really liked that one.

  • Alternative medicine

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  • There are simply too many quotable lines in this article. Amazing

    A movie called "The Mayo Conspiracy" won the Best Comedy Feature at the 2015 World’s Independent Film Festival.

    Im going to have to watch this film however

  • Mayor Mamdani said he won't accept raise after New York City Council approves pay hike

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  • There should just be housing in DC for these people. Little apartments to stay at.

  • TIL almost half the states in the US ban buying alcohol on christmas

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  • wild, I come from addicts. Like, youre right, Im not addicted to alcohol or drugs. But that is because Ive watched my entire bloodline struggle with addiction.

    I have sat side seat to an alcoholic triggered from wine at thanksgiving dinner who tried to buy alcohol after we left, and couldnt. Kept him sober that day.

    Harm reduction. Full of fire in this comment, I dont like religous nut jobs either.

    I can tell you horror stories about alcohol. Ive seen my step family, a group of 40something year old siblings, throw a man going to prision for so many dui's they threw him a kegger before he left. I come from straight up white trash. My bio father just passed away last feburary from drinking himself dead, like

    My step father would get so drunk he'd just beat us for no reason. Drunks still gonna drink, yes, but christ to say it again, its harm reduction. Because if they run out on the sad holiday, they cannot get more that day. Theyre not DRIVING to get more either. Most severe alcoholics are suicidal, and will try to kill themselves with the bottle around holidays.

    note, CT is a little different than KY or such. These laws are old, and like the sunday thing, are more from the package store lobbiests than the relgious people.

  • TIL almost half the states in the US ban buying alcohol on christmas

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  • CT

  • TIL almost half the states in the US ban buying alcohol on christmas

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  • I dont think it's a bad thing. A lot of people suffer around the holidays, and drunks will get drunk. If they can't do a packie run on the holiday, It can reduce overdoses. Harm reduction if you will.

    My state is the only state in New England I believe, who doesnt sell alcohol in gas stations, or on sundays. You also cant get wine in the grocery stores. I remember the first time I went to a Maine walmart, and I was blown away therevwas wine on the shelf. Walmart wine, tf lol. So Im used to the rules, but I do believe the holiday rule actually to be beneficial. The rest are wierd, and if you live close enough go a border state, people who want booze (on a sunday) just cross state lines for it. But sad drunk darrel cant go grab another bottle on the saddest day of the year for him, because it's closed.

  • The social media ban sceptic: are we getting it wrong on kids, tech and mental health?

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  • why?

  • CNBC’s 'worst states to live' list sparks Republican backlash after red-state sweep

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  • On one hand I dont like these list, because even if everyone was doing their best, someone will always be at the bottom.

    On the other hand, I mean, what did you expect. These list have always been a thing, and these places are always at the bottom by a far margin, why bitch now?

  • Death of the Status Update: Why 55% of Americans Stopped Posting on Social Media

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  • I solved this by just texting the folks I know to keep in touch. If They dont text back, then it wasnt really a relationship worth having was it

    I swear some folks only keep you around on social media so you can upvote(or whatever) on thier posts.

  • Trust no one not even yourself

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  • Setting aside that historically male dominated fields make more money than felmale dominated fields do..

    In the states, I have noticed, the wage gap isnt so much woman/man as it is parents/non parents. the default parent is getting called out of work for the sick child, for said childs dr appointments, for said childs half days and vacations. The default parent is usually, still today, a woman. So while the starting wage for a guy and a lady may be the same, overtime, a mother (or yes some fathers) with a child she is the default for, is going to miss work time, she may be passed up for promotion or other projects, a manager may overlook her because she has parental responsiblities. That last part, men in the same role will often be promoted if he has a family, and its the opposite for mothers.

    Also

    girls got bigger raises simply for being attractive girls

    imagine not being a conventional attractive woman. There are tons of capable, confident young women who old pervy managers just dont find hot. There is a coffee shop near me, known to only hire "attractive" young women. I didnt even bother to apply knowing this, when I have hella exp. working in coffee shops. I got fired from planet fitness, the only job ive ever been fired from, excuse me, "let go", and it was because of how I looked. (mind you I was fit, but I have boxy shoulders, had short hair, and didnt fit this dudes republican barbie aethstetic.)

    So that swings a lotta ways man.

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Cashew cream based Spinach Artichoke Dip

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    bought this sauce with no plan, it's pretty tasty in a tomato salad

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Mexican Hot Chocolate Snickerdoodles

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    used up leftovers and made these

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Suppah

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Basbousa Cake

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Bacon, Pineapple, hot pepper, fresh mozzarella pizza made using Pan De Cristal dough

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    More for folks from walkable environments, my question is: would you walk an hour and 15 minutes to go to say, the library?

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Made chicken wings for my boys tonight with garden hot sauce

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Any people here orphaned with living parents? what did your life turn out like? What were some of the stuggles, or some of the positives?

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Fatayer of sorts, sweet/savory hand pies

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Algerian Stuffed Flatbreads

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Empanadas

  • Cooking @lemmy.world
    Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Hungarian Chocolate And Hazelnut Cake