If you want notes "sometimes on the web, sometimes local first", and possibly more than just notes (with the tools to extend into an actual knowledge base), you might be better served by https://triliumnotes.org/
I'm holding off on Fluxer until they decide how they're going to implement federation
Seems wise. They seem competent in the front-end/client space and complete amateurs in the (difficult) protocol space. There is no example of successful tech (that I know of) that successfully added federation/P2P after the fact. It's not an afterthought, it probably won't ever happen.
Don't do Element, Matrix is a nightmare (and a significant commitment) to self host. Other servers (recently, continuwuity) are a bit better on that front, but then you run into compatibility issues and edge cases as a forever second-tier citizen.
My advice is to just go with XMPP and ejabberd, and you will find clients for all kinds of usages and people (a free-er WhatsApp takes you to Conversations/Quicksy/Cheogram/Monocles/Monal, a better banquet/IRC-style rooms takes you to gajim/fluux, social networking and group calling takes you to Movim, etc).
Personally my needs are covered by Monocles on Android, Gajim on the PC, and Movim on occasions. Using multiple clients around the same protocol and account is a strength, not a weakness.
It's not as dramatic as GP makes it, but Matrix had been at the prototyping stage and at figuring out its core protocol and state resolution algorithm for more than a decade now, it's pretty ridiculous in itself.
Isn't that the premise of the "$4 ubuntu over droplet deployment" option?
Instead of having Secluso-Deploy ssh into some cloud box and prep it up with the server-side software, why not have a container deployment option as well? I get that you want to ensure that the server is publicly reachable for the mobile clients to work on the go, but ultimately (and in all honesty) at this point, that should be a user concern/choice (those more advanced users may be peculiar about running behind tailscale, a home-VPN, a port-routing config, …).
Needless to say, most people here might find it easier to work with containers and build trust in the project by having it run in an isolated environment with limited permissions than blindly trusting that the code is what it says it is and not quietly running a botnet at digitalocean with their PII attached.
Ballsy of you to assume that it got "easier for normies", the answer probably lies in asking "easier for what?". Computers have been redefined as consumption devices in a scheme to extract maximal profit out of their captive users. So it's certainly "easy" for a growing number of users baited into dark patterns to hand over their credit card details and get addicted to antisocial networks and whatnot. But using modern devices as traditional computers, with intent, as a productive tool? It got much harder, except maybe for the Linux users, normies and "geeks" alike.
+1 on babybuddy, I've only good things to say about it and its community. Also, it's a Django app, so the bar to tweak it exactly the way you want is very very low.
Perhaps that's why I don't work in marketing, but that would buy so much goodwill and interest from the early fans if they were just embracing it. The first game is very lovable, and people loving it would probably have a look at the new one and that's essentially free advertising. The only reason I see them doing this is because they know already that it's bad, like, very bad.
JFYI - after many years of trusting Borg with my backups, I found Kopia to be MUCH faster, in both snapshots creation time and browsing/diffing. I backup my whole home every 6 hours, so going from ~20min down to ~3min is an appreciable win. There's also a web endpoint to Kopia that may make backing up on the go easier when you can't trust your tunnel to home.
I figured that swimming and rock climbing do wonders to improve posture and back pain