as alive as you need me to be
... Did I say that you said that?
No.
I did not.
I was adding general context to what you said, for general readers.
More people read comments than... just you.
Calm down.
The theories are that its a mythic retelling of a legend that's an embellished version of something that basically 'kind of' happened, around the time of the Late Bronze Age Collapse, between the 13th and 12th centuries BCE.
The original date of it being first written down is somewhere in the 8th century BCE, so, yeah roughly 500 years of oral tradition untill then.
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Is-the-Odyssey-a-True-Story
Schliemann’s findings and the continuing work of later archeologists seriously fueled theories of the historicity of the Trojan War, dated by later Greek authors to the 12th or 13th century bce. While the mere existence of Troy is not proof that the war was real, the discovery of arrowheads, signs of fire, and unburied bodies found in a layer corresponding to the 13th century bce indicates the possibility of battles having occurred.
Supporting evidence includes Hittite records mentioning warfare with Wilusa, their name for Troy. Some historians believe that a kingdom the Hittites called Ahhiyawa was really Achaea, or ancient Greece. Records suggest that sometime in the 13th century, Ahhiyawan forces were involved in a war against Wilusa, whose ruler, Aleksandu (very similar to Alexandros, a name for the Trojan prince Paris), requested military aid from the Hittites. Experts believe that a real conflict or a series of conflicts of some scale—either a struggle for political or commercial supremacy—inspired embellished accounts of the Trojan War.
So... taken in whole... the Odyssey is maybe roughly as actually historically accurate as... the Old Testament.
If your lense is 'is this legitimate history?'...
There are kernels of events that basically actually happened, and some important people who did something vaguely similar to what's described in the stories... around which is erected a grand mythic narrative featuring a great amount of totally fantastic and impossible nonsense, and many wholly fabricated characters and 'plot points'.
Wow.
That's a nuclear grade 'oopsie' right there hahaha!
Yeah I'm inclined to agree.
If negative energy is somehow possible, it causes ... an absurd number of paradoxes, very quickly, if it can just... exist, without bounds.
I am not any kind of actual physicist, but if I had to attempt to concieve of some framework where it even might be possible...
I'd go for some kind of 11, 12, whatever dimensional universe, when it would concievably be possible to have energy be able to bleed off, transfer, through higher dimensions, which might kind of look like 'negative energy' to us 3D spacetime things, but actually wouldn't be.
Of course... all of that is mind bogglingly complex as well, and probably causes paradoxes I am too ignorant to understand.
Just want you well appraised of the facts, sir, up to you to judge the rest.
Corrct, but, it also still requires local negative energy density to be a conceptually and physically possible thing.
Which is... currently not understood to be possible, or exist... so that basically does violate the laws of physics.
There have been even more recent attempts to... reconceptualize the whole idea, which have resulted in less required negative energy density...
https://arxiv.org/pdf/2102.06824
... but not 0. So this is still sci-fi, untill we discover... anti-energy, or... something like that.
Pretty good recent recap of the current status of this line of research, if you look past the misleading headline:
https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a71362600/scientists-say-physical-warp-drive-possible/
John 'TP is my middle name' Punisher
Are you able to concieve that video games are a fun and enjoyable hobby?
Does it occur to you that perhaps a balance can be reached other than '100% partner 0% video games' or '0% partner 100% video games'?
Is it abuse to ... not do anything other than exactly what your partner wants, when they want it, or else they will leave you?
Has it occured to you that... your mindset is the extremist, totally black and white thinking, no room for compromise, the worst possible interpetation is always the assumed default...
Has it occured to you that that is the abusive mindset?
No.
You might assume that.
Other people, with different personalities and experiences, might assume different things.
You could also assume that she'd never directly brought it up to him before.
Maybe she vaguely hinted at something... and he didn't really know what she meant, because she was vague.
Or maybe she did directly bring it up, and they then agreed to a new paradigm, and then she realized she was still unhappy despite both of them following the guidelines they agreed on.
Or, maybe he just bought the thing and is setting it up for the first time.
Or you could assume a porcelain teapot is orbiting Mercury, we just haven't seen it yet.
Its s really bad idea to invent context that doesn't exist about a complex social situation that you've only seen a tiny snapshot of. Because you're just making things up at that point, and then judging people based on things you made up about them.
Narcissist.
She needs to monopolize your attention, even when it really doesn't make any direct sense for that to be happening.
Its how narcissists 'do' relationships, they groom you into only being allowed to enjoy paying attention to and recieving attention from them.
You being able to spend or recieve attention from others is a threat to them.
Hope you ran for the hills.
That is quite literally 90% of what I'm here for.
Hahaha wow no.
No, this is an ultimatum, not 'expressing her feelings'.
It is a threat, quite literally, and that in fact is a problem... healthy relationships do not involve threats.
This is not 'hey, instead of video games tonight, could we maybe go on a walk, or out to dinner, or maybe cook dinner together, or go see a movie? Oh you had a scheduled match... hrm, maybe this weekend?'
That you think this is narcissism betrays that you are, at best, very bad at communicating, and at worst, are yourself a narcissist who is projecting.
Reverse the sexes/genders, and write that again.
Everything you just said would still be true, right?
If the man was issuing the same ultimatum, and the woman gave the response?
The first person is a narcissist.
Literally, not as insult, as a diagnosis.
They do that because they want themselves to be the only or main person whose attention and input you value.
The video games disallow them from being able to monopolize your attention budget.
Narcissists, in relationships, seek to monopolize the partners attention budget.
Perhaps ironically, that doesn't apply in reverse though... they're allowed to monopolize the attention of many people, in their minds.
Other people though, no, they're not allowed to do that, other people the narcissist knows are only allowed to spend attention on the narcissist.
Its not a strawman.
I personally know a fair number of guys that have had nearly this exact interchange.
With the addition of... after the 'well im displeased by the ultimatum, that you would do that'... then the woman begins screaming and becomes physically violent, destroying property, assault, etc.
Roughly 2/3 as many men are victims of female domestic violence as women are victims men.
Its... pretty common actually.
Literally none of this is about neurodivergece.
Its about at least one partner being terrible at communicating their actual wants and needs and boundaries... then growing resentful... then issuing a total ultimatum.
A scenario like this can only happen if at least one person is terrible at telling their partner want they want and need and expect out of the relationship, out of the other person.
It can be that both are terrible at communicating, but it has to be at least one, the ultimatum issuer.
Or... the partner could use their words, and describe, clearly, what qualifies as 'spending time together'.
Maybe they could do as you've done, and suggest some particular activities, that they would enjoy.
No one in a two party relationship needs to be neurodivergent... for two people to have different attachment styles, love languages, etc.
Also, is it up to member one of the relationship to... figure out what member two ... wants?
Why is member two not responsible for understanding themself to the point they can describe what they want in a meaningfully precise way?
Is... member two... cognitively impaired?
Too shy to ... communicate?
Then they shouldn't be in a relationship.
People have different opinions and views of this.
If you can't clearly communicate to your partner what your definition is? What your needs and boundaries are?
You are too immature to be in a relationship.
There are waaaaaay too many gray areas... people are different, in many little ways.
You cannot rely on the non existent mind reading capabilities of your partner, you have to use your words.
The meme is a bit wordy, but uh no, plently of people in relationships are not great at communicating, setting clear expectations and boundaries...
But issuing an ultimatum is a power move, that if acquiesed to, sets a precedent where that can be done for anything. This is antithetical to a relationship where each person respects the other one. After an ultimatum like this, such mutual respect is impossible going forward.
The only correct choice, for both people, is that if an ultimatum like this is issued, or one person genuinely thinks they have no other option?
You two are done.
You do not work as a couple, wrap it up.
Not to be too flippant, but:
Boomers gonna boom.
They literally can't help themselves, they're egomaniacal narcissists.
The rare ones that aren't that way can truly be awesome sources of perspective... but goddamnit so many of them are completely insufferable man-babies.