This is an old Steven Wright joke. It's fine to steal it and use it on your young relatives, but stealing it and giving it to a bigot is kind of shitty.
Also it flows better without the "already". It's supposed to be punchy and absurd. Omit needless words.
My job isn't important, but I make good money and my work-life balance is excellent. I get to spend time with my wife, my kids, and my cats. So I'm good with it.
I've never been able to picture myself at an important job. I don't know what that would be.
I've gone on this rant before. The Circle of Life is an environmentalist death cult that rules the Pride Lands. The whole thing is further explored in the follow-up tv series.
It's a planned economy enforced by a despotic dynasty. I mean, eating the antelopes is one thing, but forcing them to bow is a little much. But I guess that's why it's not called The Lion President.
Plastic straw pollution doesn't have a measurable impact on the environment.
The entire thing about banning plastic straws comes from some high schooler using back-of-a-napkin math to guess how many straws are in the ocean in what was clearly a successful attempt at starting a science fair project the night before it was due. Some news station picked it up, and then a bunch of science-illiterates ran away with it.
You can't determine the impact of pollution by count. Straws are tiny and weigh almost nothing. If you skip buying one pair of sneakers in your life, then you've successfully reduced your plastic use by almost a lifetime of plastic straws.
Removing plastic straws is probably the single least impactful way to reduce plastic pollution. It's pure virtue signaling: it's about presenting an image of being environmentally conscious while doing effectively nothing to help the environment.
The response in these comments is predictable, but there really has been a shift. Maybe it's just an extreme shift in the same direction, but something has changed.
I learned to touch-type QWERTY in late 90s chat rooms. By 2006, I was bragging about my 100 WPM speed in my online dating profile. I met one girl who challenged me to a typing contest. She won, then I won, and then we called it a draw. We've been married for 13 years and had our third child last month.
When I was learning to touch type, I found it helpful to practice in my head even when I was away from the keyboard. Like whatever I'm thinking about, I'm picturing a keyboard in my head and where each letter of each word is. It slows my thoughts down a little, but that's not always a bad thing.
Don't forget carbonadium! It's the USSR version of adamantium: a little less strong but a lot more malleable.