Some instances use allowlist meaning other servers are defederated unless added to the list. Hexbear is the only major instance that uses this model, to my knowledge.
And it is at least partly because of a radical overreach in policy demands over the last decade by the "T" in LGBT. It has generated an inevitable backlash that is now hurting the other letters in the soup, of which I am one.
Maybe it's you who are the problem, at least sometimes?
I'm afraid that's just how it is. Tags aren't very popular among Mastodon users in my experience so they don't help much either (but I still recommend adding some tags). Literally the only thing that helped my posts getting seen is a boost from some popular Masto person.
Bluesky users don't really care about federation tbh. For them, it's the new twitter.
Then there's network effect. Unlike Fediverse that attracts tech-savvy people for the most part, Bluesky has a very diverse userbase - and that userbase expands rapidly because of the aforementioned network effect.
I bet most of new bsky users are probably not even aware of Fedi alternatives like Mastodon.
You don't. Instead, you recommend a specific community/instance that they'd like to participate in. And if Fediverse doesn't have such a community your friend wouldn't stick with it anyway.
For most people the advantages of federation doesn't matter at all. What matters is their ability to connect with their fellow human beings on topics they care about.
I struggled with having too many bookmarks most of which I never even visited.
I solved it by creating a few text files to serve as an abyss for links. That way I know that a link is saved somewhere but it also doesn't create a mess within my in-browser bookmarks.
Ex redditors expect Lemmy to work the same way as their former social media: subreddits with narrow focus being great while large, generic subs are to be avoided. That's now how Lemmy operates though - we barely have any topic-focused communities and must rely on more generic places instead.
Redditors who were primarily on niche subreddits already have a good chance to enjoy Lemmy as the activity between such subreddits and more generic Lemmy communities are comparable. But since the expectation is that big generic communities are bad, such visitors will judge by our niche communities - and seeing that most of them are very inactive and some are completely dead, they won't be impressed.
Looking at c/worldjerking it was never even posted on. I'd argue that recommending such empty "communities" to Lemmy newbies will only make them leave.
The first time, I became a Linux user and quickly dove into FOSS and all that stuff. But using proprietary and centralized Reddit felt like a hypocrisy for me so I started looking for alternatives. That's how I found Lemmy, a year before it will be found by fleeing redditors.
Early Lemmy was very quiet. Many instances you are used to now didn't exist (no .world, shitjustworks, blahaj zone, dbzero, etc.) The three biggest instances were lemmy ml (the more generic, tech-focused), lemmygrad (you know that one) and wolfballs (some awful alt-right bully instance, will be later known as explodingheads). Beehaw literally just appeared when I was looking into Lemmy.
Overall, it wasn't really enough to make me want to stay. I had no confidence in my English and social anxiety wasn't helping too. So I quickly lost interest and moved on.
Despite all my searches, I couldn't find a fitting replacement for Reddit. Then, my friend came out as trans and I started lurking trans-related subreddits like r/traaaaaaans and r/egg_irl and thus got back to the platform. This time I was using libreddit (still maintained by the name of redlib) and Infinity for Reddit (a fork called Eternity for Lemmy adopts it for, well, Lemmy) because the FOSS world had spoiled me and I wanted actually usable UI.
And then, the APIcalypse. I was naive enough to think that people will actually resist greedy corporats and force them to change their mind or sink their platform. Of course not. Like it or not (personally, I don't), Reddit is still alive and well, and likely very, very profitable. But there was one beautiful consequence of the enshitifaction - this place!
Unlike my first visit to Fedi, the second time I entered not as a FOSS fangirl - posts about Linux and Firefox aren't gonna cut it. And thus, once again I found myself on a platform with not much content that I wanted to actually see. I was still very much a lurker although it was the time I tried to break through my lurking habits and to start contributing something.
Long story short, most of my time on Lemmy was spent reading and talking about Fediverse. When Meta announced its plans to connect its Xitter-alternative to Fedi, I started spending way too much time arguing with strangers about it. Until I realized just how useless all that was. I deleted my account and took a break from all social media for months.
I decided to return at some point. I was already more comfortable with posting and more aware of just how much I hate arguing with strangers. So I made a resolution: my Lemmy time should be spent on discussing stuff that actually matters to me. While it took me quite a while to figure out how to chase interesting interactions here it brought me the best online experience since my group chat broke up.
Worldbuilding. I love imagining weird worlds and figuring out how stuff works in them. I have no idea how to share my worlds with others in a way that would be interesting to anyone, so the only person who knows about my projects is my girlfriend.
Gaming. I don't understand the appeal of competitive games, like at all. Even when I was fighting with other players in Dark Souls 2, I was more concerned with having fun than winning. I disabled achievements in Steam and tend to seek ways to remove achievements from other games if at all possible.
Reading. I know people read like hundreds of books per year. I start less than a dozen books a year. Maybe I'll finish one or two lol. I don't care. As far as I'm concerned, reading Wikipedia and other articles on the internet also counts as reading. And if a book keeps my attention all the way to the end, great!
Some instances use allowlist meaning other servers are defederated unless added to the list. Hexbear is the only major instance that uses this model, to my knowledge.