I'd bring a burner phone to work at the FBI, take pictures of the screen when the saucy shit turned up, but if you did that you'd likely get tried for treason and hanged.
And yet here we are. The joke wouldn't work if literally every man couldn't recognize this situation. Or are they all just mass deluded and you alone have seen the light? Just... Stop.
"look, it's all in your head. Wanna buy home insurance?"