in the 90s we looked forward to the future. in the 2020s very few people look forward to the future because the future looks so shitty.
i mean, i can relate. i don't see my life getting better in the future in any material way. i see my standard of living maybe being stagnant... if I am lucky. and my income have kept pace with inflation... but that's largely only because i have been investing since i was 25, if i was depending solely on my job income i'd be looking at falling further and further behind.
i also think it's bullshit that i literally can't go back to school or change careers, because the costs to do so would wipe me out economically. i'd have to take on 60-100K of debt to get another masters degree, that's INSANE.
just maintaing my certs in my own field now costs me 1000s.
because 1975 is two generations ago for them, not one.
for kids today, 1975 looks the way you probably see the 1930s/1940s. it's basically old timey black and white. it's not appealing or relatable, it's completely foreign.
90s is only one generation removed and relatable. when i was in high school kids loved the 70s, because it was one generation removed, but nobody was into the 1950s.
it also has to do with fashion and vintage and nostalgia, there is a 20 year gap there as well. that's why boomers are nosalgic for the 1940s/50s, because they were all born in the 50s/60s.
the makerspaces in my city are full of trust fund elitist douchebags who who snub you if you aren't rich like them. they also charge usage fees, usually starting at 200/mo or 50/hr. they are not communal spaces for anyone to show up and hang out.
the only place that is legit free is the library, but their makerspace is only open T-F at 10am-4pm, because it's for teenagers and retirees.
i could go out in 2006 with my friends on a friday night for $20. hell 10 years ago i could go out for $50 or so.
now going out on a friday night costs you closer to $200. that's not possible for a college kid, unless that college kid has mommy and daddy's credit card.
the COL basically means unless you have lots of money, you can't ever go out anymore. a fucking movie ticket is 20-25 dollars now. I used to see movies for 3-5 bucks when I was young.
statistically the majority of them won't 'win' so why would they bother trying?
the economic rewards of a good life are now only available to a smaller and smaller portion of the population. if your parents were doctors, you'll be fine, but if they are blue collar workers, you are doomed.
the economic top 10% have basically walled off all economic opportunity for themselves and their children. nobody else gets a shot at it anymore in America. they have locked up education, housing, and healthcare behind massive paywalls that say 'your parents must make 150K+ before you can even play'.
and they know this. it's everywhere around them everyday. they watch their parents struggle to pay bills and getting crushed by healthcare, housing, and other costs.
the days of being an average person and going to college and coming out on the other side with a good job stopped in the 1990s.
no, they want to grow up with economic optimism instead of despair.
i graduated in 2005 with 30K of debt, and i had a job for 40K and my rent was 500 bucks.
if I graduated in 2025 i'd have something like 120K of debt and my job would be like 45K, and my rent would be 1500.
my sister started working in 1995, she had 10K of debt, a 35K job, and her rent was 300 bucks. she was able to buy a brand new 15K car after graduation, before she even got a job...
the rich kids will be fine, however, anyone whose parents aren't in the top 10% is economically fucked for life unless they win the lottery, statistically speaking. rent/housing costs keep going up at twice the rate of inflation in most areas.
cost of living is has been outpacing wages by a factor of 2x for over almost two decades, and there is no sign of things ever getting better.
the stability of a middle class life has been stolen from gen z by boomers and gen x, and it will be even worse for gen alpha. even among millenials, there is stark economic divide between those who had their college/housing paid for my parents, and those who had to pay for it on their own.
It's a pragmatic skill that you can't teach. It's something you learn from experience.
Because that how I know how to detect violent and abusive women.
But there is no way for me to transmit that 'skill' via language, anymore than I can instruct you how to hit a baseball well by talking you through it. You have to learn it for yourself. Or like welding. You can read up on welding, but that won't make you good at welding. Only experience and practice can.
Information about past partners is also generally hearsay. My violent and abusive exes would tell you that it was me that was the problem in the relationship, not them. They would tell you how awful i was neglectful, stubborn, and 'didn't listen' and there violence a necessity to get me to 'understand'. And my most violent abusive partner would have told you it was because I was mentally ill and she was just trying to 'help' me though her scream, physical assault, and threats.
Not to mention the same factors that I see as red flags... would for other people, be attractive and see as positives. Where I see emotional instability, they see 'expressiveness and passion'. Where I see cruelty and hostility, they see 'strength'.
yes, because our society basically thinks female on male sexual assault is 'getting lucky'. even when it's female on male underage rape, the media portrays it as no big deal and the majority of the commentary is 'that boy was so lucky'. but if it's male on female, the male assaulter is the scum of the earth and people fantasize about killing him.
I wouldn't be shocked at all if female to male partner violence was roughly on par with male on female violence, in reality. some studies show the rates are much higher than anyone suspects. but there is so much bias that female on male assault is not assault, sexual, physical, emotional, etc. our gender norms basically permit women to be violent without shame or consequence, meanwhile we are eternally vigilant about male on female violence.
One of my biggest take away from therapy was learning it's NOT OK for a woman to scream, hit, threaten, or use other abusive/manipulative tactics on me. It's also why I've basically been almost perpetual single since therapy, because the vast majority of women I have ever dated do these things and it's considered completely normal for a man to tolerate it, and totally unacceptable for a man to do these things to a woman. The double standards are completely insane.
But hey, clearly I'm a closeted homosexual if I don't enjoy being screamed at, threatened with violence, or physically/sexually assaulted by a woman!
usually crime stats or self-reports in polling/studies. at least in the USA
but you're correct that these data points are going to vary from country to country, because crimes and assaults have different legal definitions, and there are different social standards and laws about what is or isn't violence.
I guess? You realize that for some women, that would be a turn-on though, right?
Plenty of women are attracted to violent and dangerous men, because they are violent and dangerous to be around. And there is also a smaller subset who are seeking to re-enact past traumas with future partners, so they are seeking out abusive situations.
You can't police other people's attractions or personal choices, if that's what you think we should do. For some reason that's a weirdly common belief on this platform.
There is no way to predict the future. A lot of violence in relationship takes months/years to appear. Plenty of violent and abusive people have no criminal record or red flags. And the ones who are really good at it... know how to manipulate people and tend to be very charming and attractive. There is no 'standard profile' of an abuser.
Further lots of bad partners only drop their good person act once they have reached a level of security in the relationship. I had one girlfriend who only started physically attacking me once we had reached the stage of moving in. Because she finally felt she 'had' me and she could be her 'real self', and that 'real self' was a terrible person and her fake self had been wonderful. Her 'feeling safe' with me was what allowed her to slap, punch, and kick me. She was totally shocked and BETRAYED that I left her for her physical abuse, because I was a stupid man who didn't understand that "I had made her really angry and she couldn't help herself because she loves me so much!"
in the 90s we looked forward to the future. in the 2020s very few people look forward to the future because the future looks so shitty.
i mean, i can relate. i don't see my life getting better in the future in any material way. i see my standard of living maybe being stagnant... if I am lucky. and my income have kept pace with inflation... but that's largely only because i have been investing since i was 25, if i was depending solely on my job income i'd be looking at falling further and further behind.
i also think it's bullshit that i literally can't go back to school or change careers, because the costs to do so would wipe me out economically. i'd have to take on 60-100K of debt to get another masters degree, that's INSANE.
just maintaing my certs in my own field now costs me 1000s.