Not who you are replying to, but anyway. I generally find this place a lot better than reddit. Everything you point out is valid, RE: core problem. Moderating is volunteer work, and by nature mods have authority. The real crux as you point out is the lack of ability to appeal a ban. That and lack of ban standardization even amongst mods. Paying mods wouldn't help really. You can't ask mods to attend a so you want to be a moderator: a training program for those still in denial about their agoraphobia program.

Because instances admins can ultimately take their ball and go home like you mention. It's a tricky situation.