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3 yr. ago

  • Xenomorph Queen's coworker Ripley notices her stuffing herself with shrimp cocktail at a meeting and remarks: "Hey Xenomoprh Queen, the ocean called; they're running out of shrimp." After the meeting, Xenomorph Queen thinks up a comeback: "Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you." She becomes obsessed with recreating the encounter so that she can make use of this comeback, despite Jerry, Elaine and Kramer all telling her that the comeback makes no sense.

    Ripley changes jobs to Firestone in Akron, Ohio. Xenomorph Queen flies there to attend a meeting, and brings a tray of shrimp, prompting Ripley to repeat her "ocean" zinger. When Xenomorph Queen delivers the comeback, Ripley simply shoots back "What's the difference? You're their all-time bestseller." In desperation, Xenomorph Queen claims she had sex with Ripley's wife. This reduces the room to an offended silence, since Ripley's wife is in a coma. After arriving back in New York, Xenomorph Queen thinks of a new comeback, beginning with "the life support machine called...", and makes a U-turn so she can fly back to Akron and deliver it.

  • Tech Oligarchs "Hey, US government. How about we make crimes against AI data centers a terrorist crime?"

    US Government "Yes, Daddy."

  • RAM IS PEOPLE!

  • We won’t know what the rest of the voters want until November.

    This the same state that keeps re-electing Raphael Cruz.

  • Correct

    Jump
  • Remember when it gets too hot outside and people start showing up at night. Don't let them in however being alone makes you a target of the Pale Visitor.

  • Missing guns to be Phil Spector.

  • It's totally fine when white people do it. /s

  • When you put it that way, the employees should be elastic about being fired.

  • The Senate has banned insider trading.

    The House welcomes insider trading.

  • So the families of Sandy Hook can’t get paid because of reasons??

  • Basically it’s just one more avenue for paying bribes.

    That's the entire Lumtpy Trumpty Administration.

  • The Democrats have to seek permission from their corporate overlords before commenting on anything.

  • The more I look at this, the more unhinged it becomes. None of the buttons are organized, the billionaire has a giant toe for a foot, and I keep thinking the billionaire has six fingers instead of five.

    Prefect amount of unhingedness. 10/10.

  • Ooohhh, I imagine Rep. Virginia Foxx has stocks in private prison companies. Modern day slave traders.

  • They will never turn on Trump. Never.

    Maybe not Trump however the rest of the Epstein class? That’s possible.

  • More like XxXCyberTrucKKK

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

    Jump
  • put pizzas over its eyes

    We all know that pizza was still eaten.

  • Hell yeah! I love a good mega parking lot!

  • Rail network?! That's commie talk. Real patriots would have an interconnected highway system.