Yeah, I hear you, it sounds like a really aggravating situation. I know it's hard but realistically the only position you have is ensuring your kids safety. If the kid's uncle wants to pull back support because his sister is pissing him off, that's a dickhead move. Punishing the kid's future because his sister isn't acting how he wants is a pretty wild decision. All you can do is be a good parent and if your ex chooses not to be, you have a responsibility to adress that. Even if your ex is in a shitty codependent relationship, if it doesn't hurt your kid then its completely irrelevant to you. You said something that would absolutely hurt your kid though. Trying to tease out details they can't understand puts them in a terribly confusing position. Talk to the adults about this keep this at the adult level unless you find out otherwise. The last thing you want is to instil distrust and fear in the kid if its all smoke no fire. Sounds like talking this out would be beneficial for you. You can always dm me but all I can do is listen and give my ignorant opinion. If you don't see a professional I personally would work on obtaining the resources to do so. I can try to help with that in dms if you want. Stay strong and get the fuck out of your head bud.

3d ago

What are some questions I can ask someone to find out if they're in a domestic abuse situation?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

Firstly, take anything I say with a gorilla fist sized grain of salt. I'm not a professional or expert outside of some trauma informed care education and anecdotal personal experience. Anyway, it doesn't sound like abuse from what you've explained so far. It sounds like your ex is in the infatuation/honeymoon phase and that bothers you. I say this with as much compassion as possible, thats a you problem. Now, if as a direct result your child's care is impacted, thats where it becomes an issue. Outside of that, she's got the right to act how she wants, including level of communication with you. Again if that lack of communication is leading to a negative impact on your kid, you absolutely have a responsibility to address that in as direct a way as is possible. Ideally through a conversation, maybe with as close to unbiased mediator as possible. Last resort may mean involving a serious third party like lawyers. Your kid's wellbeing is paramount here, your ex is an adult and I haven't heard any extreme signs of abuse. I personally don't see it as being your place to be involved on any level that isn't strictly in your kids best interest. Again, I'm a stranger on the internet with no major level of expertise just empathy for a frustrating situation you're dealing with. I'm sorry this is happening.

3d ago

What are some questions I can ask someone to find out if they're in a domestic abuse situation?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

This sounds particularly messy. Is there any reason you can't be extremely direct in your next conversation with the ex? Bring up all these exact things. Not in a are you being abused way. In a "hey I've noticed some things and I just wanted to check in on them". Frame it around yourself/the kid and your concern not around them and the potential situation you perceive them to be in. Your kid is involved so you have a reasonable cause for concern. Do you have reason to believe the new person is unsafe in any way, especially in the context of being around your kid? Dr. John Delony has a call in show where this kind of thing is a frequent topic. Some of his content on youtube might be helpful in learning how to frame hard conversations. He is a highly qualified and experienced expert, advice given is professional grade not some youtube grifter. If you speak to a therapist, asking them how to approach the situation is also a viable direction.

3d ago

Anyone else try to show Lemmy to their friends only for the wrong side of Lemmy to scare them off?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

3d ago

Anyone else try to show Lemmy to their friends only for the wrong side of Lemmy to scare them off?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

Tell me about the meme and your question.

3d ago

Anyone else try to show Lemmy to their friends only for the wrong side of Lemmy to scare them off?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

3d ago

Anyone else try to show Lemmy to their friends only for the wrong side of Lemmy to scare them off?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

That tracks, particularly for .ml communities. I don't think it has anything to do with women, as the OP is pointing to though.

3d ago

Anyone else try to show Lemmy to their friends only for the wrong side of Lemmy to scare them off?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

I'm gonna need way more context. I haven't used the womensstuff community because it's not a space for me. Who was being intolerant of what? Secondarily, what's the "good side" you were hoping to show off?

3d ago

Anyone else try to show Lemmy to their friends only for the wrong side of Lemmy to scare them off?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

I'd have expected a .ml type of thing. Cringe. I don't know the lore behind this user but I'm guessing they were being a prick in womensstuff and this is now trolling/bait.

3d ago

Anyone else try to show Lemmy to their friends only for the wrong side of Lemmy to scare them off?

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Return_of_Chippy @lemmy.world 3d ago

What does "the wrong side of lemmy" consist of?