I’ve never even considered it, nor has it ever bothered me or my partners in any way, because it’s the norm here.
However, if I lived in the US, I’d probably do it for the reasons you mentioned - it’s the cultural norm there, and not doing it might lead to bullying or awkward reactions. The main issue, of course, is making that choice for him rather than letting him decide later. But yeah, if you’re going to do it, better sooner than later.
I like all kinds of tech, gadgets, tools and machinery. Cars are just one part of that. I'd like to have an excavator too if I could afford one and justify buing it, but I don't. Car however, I have need for so why not go and buy one that you actually enjoy driving and looking at rather than something that just gets the job done. I don't really spend a huge amount of money on it. My truck cost me 10k€ and the maintenance + fuel + insurance costs for the 7 years I've had it are around 350€/month. I can imagine myself spending more on offroad mods and such but I just have no need for that currently.
Most things I enjoy are just hard enough that I need to really concentrate but not so hard that it's overwhelming. It's not that I suck at these things but broadly speaking, if something is completely effortless to me then it's probably not that enjoyable.
I actually get mildly irritated when people do that. If we’re just chatting and I start wondering aloud about some trivial event or person, and the other person immediately pulls out their phone to Google it, I find it a bit annoying. It’s almost never anything that important. Let’s at least dig into our memories for a bit and bounce around guesses before looking it up. I’m just chatting - no need to “call a friend” to find out which movie had Denzel Washington in it.
But it’s not inexcusable to me, because someone doing that might genuinely not think it’s a big deal - cigarette butts are small, easy to overlook. It is a big deal, of course, but I can at least imagine what goes through their mind when they do it, or rather, what doesn’t. They’re could just be oblivious to it.
That’s not the case with something bigger, though. Nobody with half a brain thinks a plastic food wrapper just disappears into nature or that no one will notice it. They have to know they’re being inconsiderate jerk when they do it - yet I don’t think they would do it if they did, and that’s what makes it so baffling to me. It’s like hitting yourself - why would you do that?
Littering. It’s one of the few behaviors I simply have no theory of mind for. Nobody wants to see themselves as a bad person, so we all have stories that justify our actions - but I honestly can’t imagine what story someone tells themselves to excuse throwing trash on the ground. Even with extreme or violent ideologies, I can still picture how a person might end up there, and I can imagine that, under the right circumstances, I could too. But littering just completely baffles me.
If it’s something small like a cigarette butt, or even something larger that someone buries thinking no one will ever find it - fine, whatever. But when I see food wrappers or other garbage just lying there, especially out in nature, I’m genuinely dumbfounded.
I’m not sure the distinction really matters. What you’re actually asking, I think, is how we decide whether or not to act on a desire.
I can only speak for myself, but one of the first things I consider is how long I’ve wanted something. If it’s a new impulse, it’s probably not essential. That doesn’t mean that wanting something for a long time automatically justifies getting it, but it’s worth factoring in.
Another thing to ask is whether you’d still want it if you couldn’t tell anyone about it. Even if you say yes, could you actually do it? For example, I bought my dream car seven years ago, and I’ve never posted a single picture of it on social media. I didn’t even park it at my company lot - I walked the last five minutes instead.
The third thing is to consider whether getting the thing actually satisfies the need, or whether you’ll soon want another. I own plenty of cool and even expensive stuff, but most of it is the kind of thing I’ll probably never need to buy again. I’ll have and use it for the rest of my life.
When it comes to things like this, I think we usually know. Deep down, we do. Just be honest with yourself. You don’t owe that honesty to anyone else - but don’t lie to yourself about it either.
These days I play disc golf with a customer-turned-friend every two or three weeks - which is way more often than before I met him. Back then, it was more like once or twice a year.
I guess I’m somewhat lucky that my job naturally puts me in contact with new people all the time. Even though I don’t hang out with friends that often, I still go into strangers’ homes almost daily to fix things, and I usually end up chatting with them. The elderly customers especially tend to offer me coffee - sometimes even food - which feels pretty wholesome. Almost like visiting grandparents.
Lemmy is a perfect example of the often unspoken side of propaganda: when you’re surrounded by people who all seem to share the same opinion, you’re far less likely to speak up if you disagree. In extreme cases, this leads to situations where the majority actually disagrees but stays silent, falsely assuming they’re in the minority. That’s how a vocal minority ends up controlling the silent majority - and it’s exactly why authoritarian governments try to silence the media. This is why freedom of speech and a free press are so important, and why silencing dissenting voices, even with good intentions, ends up mimicking the tactics of authoritarian regimes.
CRISPR is the tool that lets us precisely edit genes in DNA, which contain the instructions for making proteins. AlphaFold is the AI tool that helped us understand what those edits actually do. It’s the 3D shape of the protein that determines its function - without understanding protein folding, gene editing would be like changing code in a language you don’t fully understand and just hoping it works.
Porn and masturbation feel good. It’s the physical stimulation I’m addicted to - porn just amplifies it. You can even take it further with porn, drugs, and masturbation combined. It’s not about having an itch that I’m trying to get rid of; it’s about the sensation of scratching it that I crave. I start watching porn and masturbating first, and only then does the feeling of “horniness” follow. The idea of walking around with that itch - without having first triggered it through stimulation - is completely foreign to me. And honestly, I don’t need anyone else to scratch it for me - I’m better at it myself.
Her orgasm has always been the goal for me - not my own pleasure. I’ve just struggled to enjoy sex because I’m too stuck in my head, focused on pleasing her. That inevitably leads to performance anxiety, which then causes all the usual physical issues - trying not to finish too early, or struggling to get or stay hard. Those bad experiences create a negative feedback loop that eventually makes me resent the whole thing. Ironically, if I’d just been a bit more “selfish” about it, we both probably would’ve enjoyed it more. I’ve just been trying too hard.
There’s also a mismatch between what’s expected of me as a man and what I actually enjoy. I’m not particularly dominant, and being “on top” doesn’t always feel like my place. If I were with a more dominant woman - or a man - it might flip the dynamic entirely. Right now, I just feel like I’m “forced” to play a role I’m not comfortable with. I’ve even started considering dating a guy, just to see if it would feel different. I’m not sure I can develop romantic feelings for a man, but the fact that I’m even open to the idea probably says something.
I guess it’s not a Lemmy-specific issue but more of a social media thing in general. I just don’t like being around angry people - even when their anger is aimed at people I don’t like either. It’s the cynicism, the wishing harm, the celebrating death or misfortune. I get where it comes from - I just don’t want to be around it. It poisons my mind too.
I’ve never even considered it, nor has it ever bothered me or my partners in any way, because it’s the norm here.
However, if I lived in the US, I’d probably do it for the reasons you mentioned - it’s the cultural norm there, and not doing it might lead to bullying or awkward reactions. The main issue, of course, is making that choice for him rather than letting him decide later. But yeah, if you’re going to do it, better sooner than later.