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Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Someone brought this up in another current thread: consider your end goal. What result do you want from an interaction, and how can you act in a way most likely to make that happen?

    So often we react in an emotional way, and act like punishing someone else because they behaved inappropriately is the only just response. And i'm not saying you should ignore bad behavior or that no one should experience consequences for their actions. This advice is literally just to consider your options, to determine what course of action will most likely get what you desire rather than what feels good in the moment.

  • I used to know an old man who would respond to "how are you" with an enthusiastic "fantastic!" and then an apologetic "but I hope to get better."

  • Do only as much as I feel like. Don't feel like making dinner, but i'm ok just setting out the ingredients. OK, now I'm fine with just chopping vegetables. Now I'm fine just making the sauce. It only works if you genuinely allow yourself to stop at any point. If I have to stop after the sauce, everything goes into the fridge and I finish making the meal tomorrow.

  • Opposite but same: the thing i loved about minimum wage jobs (like fast food) was that I didn't have to care about the job. Not to say I did it poorly because I have pride in myself and empathy for customers, but I didnt have to tie myself in knots to please a company that I didnt owe anything to. Pizza hut treating me like shit? No problem, papa John's is across the street and hiring. I was very open about this attitude with managers and they didnt care because I was as replaceable to them as they were to me, so as long as we were both benefiting from the relationship it was fine.

  • I used to work at a dry cleaners with a drive through for pickup. You could hand the clothes to the driver through their windows or hang them in the back seat. I Learned if I asked "would you like me to hang these in the back?" The answer was almost always no, because people don't want you to go to any trouble for them. If i asked "can I hang these in the back?" The answer was almost always yes because people don't like telling you that you can't do something.

  • The opposite also works: ask someone for a small favor, and they'll be more kindly disposed to you in the future. You've made being kind to you a part of their identity and behavior.

  • "Don't borrow trouble" is one of my mottos.

  • I've stopped asking people about jobs (unless they bring it up) because I hate how we treat people's place in the capitalist system as their primary worth. My go to question is whether the person is from the area we are currently in. If we're doing an activity, i ask how they became involved. I also like to ask about pets and hobbies.

  • I know nothing about this method, and maybe the other answers will solve it. My question is: what kind of parmesan does this call for? I always grate mine fresh, and sometimes a recipe doesn't quite turn out because the author intended you to use the shelf-stable canister stuff.

  • It reads like OP is in a ring of scammers trying to figure out the maximum they can con from people.

  • No no no. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from this. And if the genders were reversed, continuing to try to talk to them after they clearly said they were uninterested would be considered creepy and harrassment. Let him go and move the fuck on.

  • We're talking about it, aren't we?

  • New Picasso just dropped.

  • "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this."

    But I give a random, weird, (seemingly?) useless item each game.

  • Whoa there, you didn't study hard at fartography to feel so down on yourself.

  • I was making a joke, I am not an expert on any culture about baba yaga, and if my comment was inappropriate or offensive, please let me know and I will delete it.

  • Being able to eat peanuts. Developed an allergy 4 years ago.

    The park in Oregon where I used to walk every day and see the most amazing water birds.

  • But they weren't inconsequential.

  • Baba yaga

  • Cooking @lemmy.world

    Are we doing avocado toast pics?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    What song/band did you not expect to like - but ended up loving?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world

    If you had to talk to a stranger, what would you want it to be about?

  • Dogs @lemmy.world

    What to do for a roaming dog?

  • Cooking @lemmy.world

    What food do you enjoy eating but hate the smell of?

  • Traditional Art @lemmy.world

    Still Life of Fish and Cat - Clara Peeters

  • Cooking @lemmy.world

    Boozy Butter Beans and Greens on Toasted Sourdough

  • Books @lemmy.ml

    How to Use Reading Appeal Factors to Find More Five-Star Books

    bookriot.com /how-to-use-reading-appeal-factors/