A 50-something French dude that's old enough to think blogs are still cool, if not cooler than ever. I also like to write and to sketch.
Not really.
As a matter of fact, like I once used to when I was much younger, I realize I rely more and more on old tech (think pen and paper, printed books, physical medium) because they're reliable, I can fully own them, and I know they won't be spying on me and they will respect my privacy. Maybe it's just me getting old, or maybe I'm (finally) becoming cautious?
Access to the content we create not being controlled by any corporation or any person. That's about it for me, even though there were other things I did not like about reddit.
Don't be, probably means I will need to learn to do better (thx for the feedback ;)
Worst is a bit vague. Do you means worst in the sense of the girl, or me, being a real nightmare to deal with, or do you mean 'worst' as in ‘some random/stupid shit happening'?
As for some random shit happening (that would have been happening in my 20s, many decades ago), would being puked on in a pub, by my completely drunk best friend while he would have been trying to curl into my arms shooting into my ear, and for everyone around to hear, how much he loved me right when the girl I would have been waiting for would have been entering the pub... Would that count as a possible worst date? The girl would have been the classy kind of girl, the kind that would have made her parents proud and make a few classy boys chase after her. Exactly not the kind of girl I would have imagined ever willing to date a thing like me. But there she would have be, standing still, while would have been trying to get rid of my collapsing best friend.
Just asking because, quite obviously, nothing like that ever happened. And the girl, quite surprisingly, also never offered me to accompany her to her (absent) parent’s house to help me clean up the mess. Never.
To be honest, I did not have that many bad dates. I had a lot more failed attempts at dating, as I was already very clumsy, shy, and not handsome... And I had a few odd dates too, on occasions. But those would be a story for another thread ;)
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Am I actually a bad person?
Am I a bad person?
No idea, how could I know.
But what I do know is that you seem a little keen on over-generalizing:
So when I hear about these Bible Belt US states, I think the people in them are absolutely disgusting folks. I have no respect for them. None. If a disaster hits them, I will not feel sad.
Are you US citizen (I'm not, if that matters)? If so, and even though you probably live in some other state than the ones you listed, be aware you still live in the same country as them and are sharing the very same citizznship. But you, you're different than them? Sure, and I'm even I'm willing to believe that but then why couldn't other individuals, in those other states you seem to hate so much, be different too?
It's too easy to reduce all individuals from some place (or some origin, or some culture, or some religion, and so on) to an abstract 'bad' group of persons that deserve what will happen to them.
Also: account blocked. Creating an account just to post that kind of thing is a pretty demonstration of what happens when someone is letting anger/hate overgrow them.
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All answers are about am*rican or british X.
Maybe you have not read my answer?
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I don't have 'best female author of all time' but I do have favorite writers some of which happen to be female. I don't usually split them by their sex (nor by their height, distaste for bananas, or whatever) as for me they're all in the same 'people who have a great time staining paper with ink making me a happy reader' league but here it is, in absolutely no order beside the first two, as there is them and then there is all the others:
- Virginia Woolf (the only reason I would love to be able to travel in time is to meet her),
- Jane Austen,
- Edit: (how could I forget) Emily Dickinson!
- Sylvia Plath,
- Shirley Jackson (if you have not already, go read The Haunting of Hill House, it's considered a classic for reasons),
- la marquise de Sévigné (she wrote letters and they make for a great read, no idea if it's available in English),
- Margaret Atwood (imho she deserves a Nobel Prize, next to Woolf and Austen),
- Mary Shelley (like mentioned by others already, she well deserves to be read and would still have a lot to teach to some contemporary authors too, imho).
- I love reading Lizza Tuttle. Her horror short stories are different.
- In the same vein, I also quite like Mélanie Fazzi (who is also a translator of some of Tuttle's stories, btw). But I can't find that much more female writers in that specific genre (a lot more males do come to my mind).
Being French, I realize I have not listed that many French female writers I would consider a favorite. But they are a few I would consider excellent read nonetheless:
- La comtesse de Ségur (one of my childhood companion next to, say, Verne and Doyle),
- Simone de Beauvoir,
- (very) few pages of Marguerite Duras,
- Fred Vargas.
- To which I would also add Pauline Réage, because I think her 'Histoire d'O' is well worth reading for anyone into erotica.
- At one time, I also quite liked Joëlle Wintrebert (scifi) but I have not felt like reading her for a very long time so I could not tell.
Soon available in every country, no doubt, as obviously we all deserve to be... protected from our-naughty-selves.
When I do react, I may ask them about the last time they had sex and how it was.
But most of the time I don't bother reacting. It's a waste of time.
So, not uBlock or whatever as everyone’s aware of that.
Alas, not that many people know about it. If they were, they would not be using Chrome-based browsers as the new (& neutered) version of uBO for chrome is rather limited.
Beside uBO, I barely use any extension as it can do (well) so many things already beside blocking ads: fingerprinting, removing cookies popup and consent notifications, removing all the shit I don't want to see from most websites (looking at you, YT Shorts):
- Dark Reader, because dark mode doesn't blind me ;)
- The Qwant extension (my search engine, next to Kagi)
- and three extensions just for YT: 'Improve YouTube!', 'Enhancer for YouTube' (to remove a lot of the crap YT insists on pushing to us) and 'SponsorBlock' (to remove video embedded ads).
Save the Qwant one, they all are in the 'recommended extensions' section on the Mozilla website. (edit: I think so, I have not checked)
On the browser I use for more personal/private stuff I don't have any extension beside uBo... I would not go on the Web, or barely on a few selected websites, without using uBO to be honest: every time I'm faced with a non uBO-protected browser I feel like dying. Too much tur... ads, I mean. It's just not tolerable.
Kinda/remotely/vaguely is the phonetic version of the surname my best friend gave me some 40+ years ago.
The avatar is a red blob hinting at what I'm into (plus my name) ;)
Nothing I would not have bought any other time.
My pleasure.
I would so much love to see more kids read books... Not for my own satisfaction (it's unlikely this will help me last a second more than my allotted time on this planet) but for themselves. Instead of learning to read, and to read as widely as they can and to discuss what they are reading (and, let's be crazy one moment, to start writing too), they're being encouraged to waste so much of their time on useless shit activities by the very same persons that should worry the most about those kids future: their parents, family and teachers.
(nearing my 60s). What surprises me about myself:
- To still be alive. I have severe (non-curable) health issues + I narrowly escaped dead once already, that was a few years ago. Given that, I consider every single day as a gift or, at least, I try not to forget that it's a gift even when said day doesn't feel that wonderful to live through ;)
- My never ending love (and respect) for writing and for reading books. Both helped made me who I am as a person and they still do, every single day. Those two skills are essentials, but reading probably is the most important of them.
What follows has not much to do with the original question, so feel free to ignore it or you can see it as a free bonus ;)
(old moron rant mode ON)
Books are an almost magical way (without any magic in them, it's pure brain power and smartness) to have a discussion through space and time with some of the brightest minds (and also quite a few of the dumbest ones, to be honest) humanity ever had. Books are also very patient teachers that will follow along at your pace, never rushing you, never holding you back. And then, some of those books may even become lifelong friends and companions that you will always be able to rely on, like a best friend.
That's one of the reasons I'm so sad to see more and more younger people that don't and probably won't ever read a book in their entire life. Like if it meant nothing, like if was just another way to waste one’s time, like doom scrolling, binge watching or... fapping. It is not. Alas, one cannot realize that unless one starts making a habit out of reading and one learns to properly read.
Because, like walking, singing, drawing, building rocket ships or riding a bike, reading is a skill that must be learned before one can hope to get good at it. It needs to be properly learned. And there is no shortcut to learning that: it's called education.
Teaching kids is something too many adults seem to have decided was not worth bothering with. When I first read this I could have cried if I was not already aware of the issue: The Elite College Students Who Can’t Read Books.
Those kids are not stupid, and certainly stupider than we were at their age, don’t get me wrong. But they’re also so screwed up it’s hard to describe. And it is us, parents and all adults alike, that screwed them up by failing at educating them.
It’s not just sad, it's a tragedy. For those kids. But they won't realize how deeply they have been screwed up by the failing educative system up until it's too late for them. The day they will begin their own adult life and they will be required to compete against other young people among them, against those who will have been properly educated not just to be able to read books (and properly use them). They won’t stand a chance, no matter how smart they are, because being able to properly use books is like the ultimate cheat code.
So, if you’re young and happen to read this rant by a random old dude you will never meet IRL (hi from France, where our once reputed educative is at least as badly wrecked as the the US system discussed in the linked article). If all you know about books is that they’re dust magnets that have no WiFi, no Likes and no moving images in them (you’re not wrong). If you have never seen any of the so-called ‘adults’ around you open a book and have a fucking great time while reading it. If all or any of that apply to you, it's not too late for you.
Go to your local library and get a card (it’s free, in most places). Once you get your card start bugging the shit out of your librarian by (gently) asking them for reading advice, making it clear you're a beginner (that's OK). Don’t be afraid to tell them you did not enjoy a book they suggested that's not belittling them and, if they’re not stupid, they will be able to use your feedback to narrow down their next suggestion to something that will suit you a little better.
You don't like/want to talk to librarians? Pick books yourself and test them (your school must have its own library). If you realize you don't like one book, just put t back and try with another one as there is no law anywhere on the planet that requires a reader to finish a book they started but they don't like. You can also start reading with friends, and discuss the book while you’re reading it, or after. Or both :)
One last advice that, I fear, will make most potential new readers run away from me and my stupid rant but that still needs to be told: don't be afraid to read... classics. There, I said it. Don't listen to the hype (or to the hate). You can be sure books that have withstands a few centuries of reader's attention, if not more than centuries, are still there for a very good reason. No matter what some trendy influencer or some angry crowd may say about it. Also, it's ok to start a classic and to not like it, that's fine. Try some other one ;)
(old moron rant mode OFF)
That kind of hate is almost definitely coming from other women. I’d say that from an evolutionary psychology perspective, it’s about them raising the bar for everyone by going the extra mile to look pretty.
There is a lot of suppositions going on. First, that there is actually a significant amount of 'hate' being expressed (see my other comment to the op). Then, that any of that cosmetic surgery actually 'raises the bar' (and make any woman look ‘prettier’) compared to, let's call them non-surgically modified or ‘non-enhanced’ women. Then, that those 'enhanced' women are in anyway more successful in what they want to achieve compared to those other women. Finally that those other women feel in way threatened by that group. It could also be interesting to consider what we consider as cosmetic surgery (and not), how this has developed, and since what time.
In regard to the usefulness of cosmetic surgery as a way to mate/date (which I imagine is one of the main reasons why anyone would do it) I can only speak for myself, aka as an old dude that has been in a relationship for more than 20 years. But even when I was a lot younger, when I was a lot less focused on any single person in my life, I never dated a woman that had 'raised' the bar you mentioned. It was not what I was looking for in a woman. And I would be curious to get data on how many of those women manage to find a partner and then to keep it compared to the other women?
I had preferences but outside of those ‘couple nights fun times', a lot more important to me than the look was (and would still be) an interesting personality, aka a woman with as much brains as possible. Brains could not and still can’t be surgically enhanced so, obviously, the kind of women I was seriously interested in were the ones willing to put it in the actual time and efforts to make their brains ‘look’ better ;)
Any other type of ‘enhancement’ to me looked like a serious waste of precious time, and resources.
Maybe I was completely wrong and maybe it’s just me being odd? Could very well be. I remember as a teen, I had a few pictures of girls on the walls of my room taken out of magazines. Most of them were not top models or actresses they were... female writers and artists I admired and they were pinned alongside (at least as many) male ones. I fantasized a lot more about meeting people like Virginia Woolf (Still one dream of mine, to this very day) and Jane Austen (or, say, my dear Flaubert and Tolstoy) than with any actress or top model... no matter how ‘perfect’ they (or their boobs) looked like in the magazines.
Do they hate it? I mean, not liking something does not mean hating that something (I don't like bananas, I'm fine with people eating them and have never campaigned to ban bananas from our tables, not even from mine ;).
And if they do hate it, why would that be an issue? Why does it matter?
The reason I am asking is because I saw a lot of women who look great after surgeries and I see nothing wrong with them, but when I browse Reddit I see people hating on them so hard, why?
I find most 'cosmetic' plastic surgery... rather not cosmetic at all, to be 100% honest and I often find the end result a lot less pleasing than the original version was, but people are free to do what they like with their own body whether I like or not—exactly like I'm free to not like it, and say it.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I actually feel a lot better now lol, no joke.
No excuse remaining, then. Start posting that poetry! ;)
Ps: I meant it. I would happily read more poetry online, and I'm willing to bet my cup of morning coffee I'm not alone.
I’m a native Cantonese and Mandarin speaker, we have a Asian Diaspora comm, but most Lemmings are white westerners, so it’s not gonna get much traction…
It's rue for most community, I would say. But it's truer for non-English speaking one (looking at my tiny French speaking instance). We really lack a tad more users ;)
I’m planning to post some poetry stuff in bilingual English and Chinese, like… its good emotional release… kinda therapudic for myself using multiple languages to engage the brain’s emotions in multiple parts of the brain, only posting for personal reason tho, idc if anyone actually reads it
You can be assured I would happily read (a lot) more poetry around here. Even more if it's not in English and even even more so if it helps me decide it's time I start learning Chinese—something I've been considering for... too many years... and now feel a bit too old to do (stupid me speaking)
In regards to readership and as a side note: I would not say I don't care if people are reading it or not myself, but I'm ok with the idea of being my own reader. Which is one of the reasons I reopened a blog a few years ago: it helps me put some order in my head.
Just post it, find the right community for it, if someone hates it, they have a block button for that community, or use word-blocking filters.
This.
Also, to the OP: Lemmy (the Fediverse) is not owned by anyone nor by a single country, or culture. So, there is not one culture that is expected to be an 'accepting host'. We're all sharing the same space and doing our best to make it a nice place... which can work quite well provided all of us, as individuals, are welcoming to one another ;)
I don't care much about karma (that would be up and downvotes, around here) but I do miss the old forums not being centralized and/or owned by a single entity or authority or, more exactly, not being the only space available no matter who owned it.
This allowed for a lot more divergence of opinions and dissent. There was no such thing with the advent of centralized social media. Which is the reason why I was so happy to jump onboard the fediverse when I heard about it: no more owerpowered centralized/unique owner and censor. Worst thing happening around here, I would still be free to move to another instance, or even create my own. To me, even though I don't think I will ever need it, it's great.
Another thing I miss of back then are blogs. They still exist, but I miss the thriving (and exciting) communities that existed around them, with its engagement(s).
Blogs sometimes allowed for incredibly interesting conversations, between very different persons expressing their various and oftentimes conflicting opinions. It's something I think is badly needed today more than it ever was. Something that would help a lot of us rediscover the true meaning of the word 'discussion' (which is not to agree with one another singing Kumbaya) and would help us re-learn/rediscover the importance of being able to debate with people we disagree with without calling for them to be censored or worse... That neutering logic of the 'either you agree with us/me, or you're out of here' (or, I insist, worse).
That variety (and healthy tension in debating), I miss. It still exists online, but it's rare. It's much simpler to find it offline, irl while having discussions with close friends who are not afraid to speak freely. And inside books... those books whose authors are challenging to read at least. Which sadly means avoiding not all but a large chunk of the contemporary production to focus on long gone writers, classics or not, who trusted/expected their readers to be smart enough to be able to read even the most disturbing ideas without immediately suing them or calling for their cancellation.
I seldom use it: