I think you're right about getting someone to install Windows being easier. Was there a specific site that you remember being helpful? Or particularly bad?
Right now it's gathering dust on a shelf so it's not getting any less usable no matter what happens to it. I found a site with some info about installing Linux on ROG, but was immediately over my head, which is why I'm asking you fine folks for help.
If you're talking about the Heritage Minutes ad about Dr. Penfield, she had epilepsy, it wasn't a stroke. Smelling burnt toast was a precursor to her seizures.
Aw, they saved you some!