I wonder if second-sleeping would help you.
You go to bed pretty early, like within a couple hours of sunset early, let yourself wake up naturally around midnight, stay awake doing low-key activities (sex, have a snack, read a book by candle light, talk to your bedmate if they are up, etc. basically candle-light-or-darker activities, a low-wattage warm white bulb on a dimmer does nicely, as do flickering candelabra bulbs) then around like 2-3, fall back asleep until a bit after dawn.
Thats the sleep pattern humans had, as far as we can tell, for all of history before the invention of artificial lighting (its mentioned so casually, with zero explanation, in historical documents as to just be the de facto experience), and its a pattern a lot of people naturally fall back to, but with improper timing so they don’t make it to the second sleep phase, and just end up with a dysfunctional rhythm that has them waking at 4. Or they fully fall into the pattern and feel great, like my retired aunt, but are worried because it’s “not normal”.
Women have multiple ways to avoid pregnancy. Men have multiple ways to avoid pregnancy. People who are educated about their options exercise those options like all the time, which is why so many of us don’t have kids at all. Myself very much included. Thats why birth rates are declining so drastically.
Unless you are saying women can’t use birth control or get abortions for some reason..? Or abstain entirely as young people seem to be doing in surprisingly large numbers?
“Kids have a way of happening” is basically saying other people don't or shouldn’t have bodily autonomy… kinda fucked up.