I used to wear a black kerchief around my left wrist when I was hiking, for wiping sweat and washing face, TIL I'm a strong SM top when I'm on the trails. Not quite sure what that means but I'm willing to learn.
"The position offers monetary compensation in exchange for the adequate performance of tasks. I require monetary compensation and will therefore perform said tasks adequately."
You haven't followed the proper tech troubleshooting ritual: