Please refer to this paper on the subject. They’re actually four distinct species of turtle:
Kingdom: Teenage
Phylum: Mutant
Class: Ninja
Order: Turtle power
Family: Splinter
Genus: Pizza-eating
Species: Leader, Machines, Crude, and Party
These heroic half-shell types of turtles subsist mainly on pizza in the northern regions of New York, and travel in fearsome fighting teams, hunting Shredders and local Foot clan bottom feeders. They have evolved alongside the local giant Kung-Fu rat population with which they share a symbiotic relationship and a sewer apartment. When the evil Shredder attacks, these turtle boys “don’t cut him no slack” (as they’re known to let evil Shredders escape to provide weekly hunting experience and entertainment for the group).
If you’re lucky, you can catch glimpses of these elusive species on the local Channel 6 News with April O’Neil.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but I think if the president is allowed to use the justice department to hide the evidence implicating him in a global conspiracy to continuously rape underage girls on a private island, the Democrats should be allowed to run a candidate with a sexual assault allegation with a week before the withdrawal deadline.
The Trump family and administration directly benefit from these wars through oil investments and unregulated betting market manipulation. The American people do not.
They are blasting OUR money out of a FIREHOSE to return pennies on the dollar to themselves. They don’t give a flying fuck about wasting a billion tax-dollars a day to bomb schools in Iran and then wasting $300 billion more to rebuild because it makes THEM money!
Meanwhile, the fucking senate whimpers like a mouse with a non-binding resolution and then folds the next fucking day on making yet another pussy ass non-binding resolution to end the Iran war after Trump yelled at Bill Cassidy, a SINGLE senator. Un. Fucking. Real.
Trump saw a big fat Twinkie and dipped our bulbous, swollen nuts into a mousetrap for it. Now he gets to prance away while we waffle about trying to un-fuck his latest epic half-baked scam, just like every other organization he has ever even farted in the vicinity of. And, he gets paid for it. Now, we get to be Trump’s daddy! Forever! Wheeee!
Watch for congress to FOLD LIKE A BITCH and hand Trump every last fucking dollar you pay in taxes until the money you actually do make turns to shit because they’re printing it like toilet paper just to keep up with Trump’s unquenchable, unmitigated, pathological, narcissistic, galactic singularity of greed.
I’m hoping and praying for gas prices to EXPLODE. I hope Iran cements the entire strait shut with the crude they seize and the bodies of their murdered children. Maybe that will FINALLY make the American idiocracy realize that this man has been FUCKING us his whole wretched, empty, pathetic, and impossibly selfish life. It will take empty shelves and $20 a gallon gas to slap America across the face and WAKE THE FUCK UP! One hundred fucking years of American prosperity, equity, and blood, to suck up to a petty, disgusting, pathetic, braying donkey of a narcissist with the political guile and the emotions of a child. I cannot fucking believe Americans were duped into this.
Finally, I would just like to go on record and take every last bit of credit remaining for seeing this painfully obvious and completely transparent fraud in back in 2015 after watching Trump speak for five fucking minutes. Although, how anyone can be entertained, let alone duped, let alone be obsequious to Trump, the biggest malignant narcissist who will ever exist, the most ham-fisted and oblivious conman to ever walk the earth, still escapes me.
There is no post mortem on this one; no careful reflection on the soul of a nation. Just a vast glowing plastic wasteland of half-demolished old-world monuments, decaying casinos, and pile after pile of garbage-filth soaked American flags overflowing the gutters, while giant overdriven loudspeakers berate in static: “AMERICA FIRST!” This is the apocalyptic legacy of Trump.
Can we just go back to the same old classic pharma-addicts-America-to-OxyContin scandal again? I really need one.
Tucker Carlson says he’ll no longer support the Republican Party.
And I support legislation to secure the taxpayer-funded regulatory framework that implements the weekly maintenance required to keep Tucker Carlson’s facial butthole superglued shut.
Both of these statements have equal value.
EDIT: After careful reflection, I have come to the conclusion that while both statements are stupid, mine is significantly better.
There’s no proof stronger that they absolutely despise poor people than gleefully ripping out a system that tries to protect most vulnerable people in the world.
Just to be clear, normalizing it is not my intent here. It’s to emphasize that it goes so, so far beyond simple lies - so far that I think it’s deep into pathological disorder, on a national scale. These people are literally incapable of saying anything approaching the truth. They are projecting an alternate reality that I’m not completely sure they can see outside of, to varying personal degrees.
This does not excuse their criminal behavior, it indicates that they are criminally insane. Politicians lie. Police officers lie. Pundits lie. But they at least seem to be aware of it. The stuff coming out of the Trump administration is full on delusional.
There’s lying, and then there’s remorselessly wielding presidential power to manipulate the stock market with an illegal war. The latter is a crime against humanity.
Is it even “lying” any more if that’s literally all they’re capable of?
It is a delusional narcissist’s false projected reality that can only be immediately dismissed, because if you take time to even consider it the intended effect of injecting doubt has been accomplished. It’s just noise; a memetic hazard fishing for a weak impressionable mind to inhabit. At this level of broad transmissibility and influence, I can only manage to describe it in the terms of a dangerous psychological phenomenon.
In the end, the reflecting pool is a symptom and not a cause. It accurately reflects the state of our country right now. If a dirty pool meant we spent the money and effort on food, housing, and schools, I’d be happy to see it. Instead, we have a fitting monument symbolic of America’s corruption, inept leadership, and Trump’s sad obsession with gaudy real estate projects built in his image by the lowest bidder most capable of fellating his ego.
It is a tidy distraction from the cold-blooded murder abroad and at home, and from bargaining away the country to America’s enemies for the low price of funneling money and power to Trump’s interests.
I can think of another failing modern empire that returned to fascism and is being embarrassed in a senselessly brutal and poorly conceived “limited action” against a smaller militarily disadvantaged nation…
The things that make nations great is not war and reinvestment in their elite classes, it is the investments of grand infrastructure that underpins the spirit of their people, and that gave rise to an elite class in the first place: water, food, housing, healthcare, science, and education. Republican policies (and they are now explicitly party policy) of exclusion, hate, war, deregulation, and authoritarian force aim to dismantle and rebuild the US in the image of Christian fascism. It continues to remain hilariously contradictory to me as to how they ever planned to do this by utilizing a government they are actively dismantling, with a clearly incompetent leader who can only see strategies that funnel money and power to his interests.
Just like economic bubbles, the overvalued faith in these utterly insane people is only propped up by the false hype generated by media spin and massive loans against the excess power projection of the US constructed over a century. The losses have been socialized for too long and the bubble will burst, as it was designed to do. This system has been carefully engineered over decades by people who have had so much wealth for so long that it has completely disconnected them from reality and decoupled their thinking from consequence for generations. In other words, they have gone mad with power.
I can also recall several other historically fascist nations that were driven to ruin by their elite classes succumbing to this madness, right around the 1930’s…
Woah, that sounds illegal as hell.