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testfactor

@ testfactor @lemmy.world

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Comments
161
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • Last day of the year... How are you going though this night?

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  • To be clear, you can. Being in their presence for half a day wouldn't cause you to fall over dead. You aren't incapable of doing it.

    What you mean is that you won't. You are refusing to do it. You aren't incapable, you just really don't want to.

    And look, I get it. It's easier to tell yourself that spending a few hours with someone you don't like is literally impossible. That way, you can't be faulted for not doing it. You wouldn't be responsible for your own faults or failures if the things that would fix it were literally impossible. It's a comforting lie.

    But just because you want something to be true doesn't make it so. You are, in fact, capable of spending a small handful of hours with someone you don't like. Your world won't end, and afterwards you can go back to sitting on your bed, playing vidya and jerking off. But you'll go back to that one step closer to self improvement.

    The question is, what choice are you going to make. And make no mistake, it is a choice. Your hand isn't forced. And whichever way you go, that was your decision. Not something the world forced on you.

  • Last day of the year... How are you going though this night?

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  • Okay, there's a lot there to examine, but let's go with the drivers license.

    Why would you rather hang yourself than go back to that instructor? Just because they have a BMW? Because they annoyed you on a personal level?

    It's not like you're going to marry them. They're someone you'll see for maybe a dozen hours in your entire life. After which, you'll have a drivers license that has the potential to vastly improve your life.

    Can you not withstand a dozen hours discomfort? That's not that many in the grand scheme to achieve a goal you set for yourself.

  • Last day of the year... How are you going though this night?

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  • Your comment about people being obnoxious, dumb, and too old is, at the most charitable, hyper local. This is something that you can work towards changing. There are clear, easily defined steps that will work you to that goal.

    It will be hard, but it's clearly accomplishable if you put in the work.

    You say you do enough, and I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

    What hard things are you currently doing? And about how many hours a week does it represent?

  • Last day of the year... How are you going though this night?

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  • Platypus, my brother in Christ, do you hear how you talk out of both sides of your mouth?

    You'd be sad if you had to hang out with people, because you hate that, but you'd be sad if you are alone because you hate that.

    It's not your circumstances making you sad. It's you. It's your refusal to engage with your problems because you'd rather languish in your depression.

    There's nothing on earth that could fall into your lap that would make you happy. The world could bend to your will in every way, and you'd still be miserable because the thing making you miserable isn't external.

    You have the power to make 2025 better than 2024. It won't be easy, and you'll have to do a lot of things you don't like doing. That's life. That's being an adult. Doing the hard things you don't want to do to make life better for yourself and the people around you.

    And you can do it. But you never will so long as you keep lying to yourself by saying there's "nothing you can do about it." There is. You just have to take the first step.

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  • Everyone's life is messy. That's the human condition.

    And you say that nothing changes, but at the same time refuse to change. How can anything change if you don't?

    The things you are doing now are making you miserable, so why keep doing them? The choices you're making now are making you miserable, so why not try and make different choices.

    This isn't a "change the entirety of who you are right now" thing. It's a slow change of small decisions.

    What if, tomorrow, instead of going to McDonald's (or whatever fast food you have), you went and sat at a local bar and chatted with people. Even for just an hour.

    "I'd hate that," I hear you say. So? People do things they don't want to all the time. That's life. You can't do something hard for one hour a week? You can't stretch yourself, even the tiniest bit?

    And maybe if you do that for a few months, you get to know someone at that bar. Maybe they invite you to another thing going on in town. Maybe as you develop friends, you start to realize that having relationships with people isn't as impossible as you've built it up in your head to be.

    But if you keep choosing McDonalds, nothing will change. If you choose just one hour a week at the local pub, something might. That's not "changing who you are." It's not ego death for God's sake. It's one hour a week at a local bar.

    So why not take the chance? What do you have to lose?

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  • You say it's "your reality" and "what you have seen," but what do you mean by that? Are they just platitudes?

    You've never seen anyone change? You've never seen anyone work hard at something and improve?

    You say, "if I had been born somewhere else," but do you think there's a single place on earth that doesn't have someone who feels the exact same way you do? I promise you that from the richest suburb in America to the poorest straw hut in Africa, there are people who think that the reason they don't have love is because of their circumstances and that the whole world is against them.

    So what makes you different from them? Why would you succeed if you'd grown up in those places instead of where you are, even when others don't? Why haven't you succeeded growing up where you are, even if others have?

    Once again, I promise I'm not trying to be a dick. I just want to understand you.

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  • It seems that you're operating under the belief that being a good person means you deserve a romantic relationship, or that being a bad person should disqualify someone from having a relationship, but that's flawed logic.

    That belief is as well founded as believing that, because you are a good person, you should be good at the guitar, and that bad people shouldn't be able to be good at the guitar.

    The only real factor that determines guitar skill is the amount of work you put in to it, and the same holds true for relationships. If you don't put the work in, you won't have a relationship. And anyone who tells you relationships aren't hard work is lying to you.

    On a separate note, you frame self improvement as "becoming someone else," but understand that it's not like you're a different person. Habits aren't who you are. Beliefs aren't who you are. Hobbies and proclivities aren't who you are. You are who you are. And that's true if you're the person who chooses to self improve, or the one who doesn't. You're you either way, for better or for worse.

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  • You've implied elsewhere that you don't believe that you can change. That the way you are is the deterministic result of your life up til this point. Is that an accurate representation of your position?

    If so, other than because you feel like it's true, what evidence do you have? Have you tried making an active effort to change? Do you even want to?

    I'm genuinely not trying to be a dick. I just wonder if the reality is that you want to change, but that that's terrifying, and it's more "comfortable" to tell yourself that it's impossible, so it wouldn't matter if you tried anyway.

    And look, I'm sympathetic to the feeling that it's "safer" and "easier" to be miserable where you are than it is to try and do something else. The "potential unknown misery" is always scarier than the misery that you're living with now, and especially when you're battling depression, it's easy to just cave and fall back into the same rut that you keep walking.

    I'm just asking that you really consider the idea that you can't change, and examine why you believe that. I imagine that, under scrutiny, you'll find it based in fear, not facts.

  • Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.

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  • I don't agree, but I've also literally never seen a sex toy for sale in Walmart. Like, is that a thing?

  • Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.

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  • Tbf, the bill targets "retail stores," not specifically Walmart.

  • Why did communism always turn into a kind of dictatorship?

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  • We're overloading terms here a bit. When I say "a state cannot prevent violence," it might be better phrased as "ALL violence."

    Of course the state can prevent some violence. I don't think anyone would argue against that? If the state imprisons or kills a serial rapist, they have prevented that person from committing future violence, no?

  • Why did communism always turn into a kind of dictatorship?

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  • I don't think it's a belief that a state prevents violence so much as it is a belief that you cannot address violence when it occurs without some form of state.

    Let's say someone is raped in an anarchist society. What are your options of redress, short of simply lynching the perpetrator?

    Any form of court, law, jail, etc all have "the state" as a prerequisite.

    In either system the violence happens regardless. There is no preventing it. The question is, is "the state" a requirement to properly address that violence when it occurs?

  • Microsoft Please Fix

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  • I'm sure 99% of the files were node modules. The npm bloat is real.

  • Donald Trump Has NOT Won a Majority of the Votes Cast for President

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  • He still had more of the popular vote than Harris, it was just they were both less than 50% due to 3rd party votes. So neither had a "majority" of the vote.

    So he still would have won, even under a purely popular vote based system.

  • Donald Trump Has NOT Won a Majority of the Votes Cast for President

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  • To be clear, because the headline I think is a bit misrepresentative. Trump still has over a million more votes than Harris. He just no longer has over 50% of the votes cast.

    It's like 49% Trump, 48% Harris, 3% Other. So Trump still won the popular vote.

    This isn't a "the Electoral College screwed us" situation. He still "won" the popular vote. He just didn't win a "majority" of the votes cast.

  • AI-generated poetry is indistinguishable from human-written poetry and is rated more favorably - Scientific Reports

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  • In 1962 Phillip K Dick put out a book called "Man in the High Castle." In it there was a scene that stuck out to me, and seems more and more relevant as this AI wave continues.

    In it a man has two identical lighters. Each made in the same year by the same manufacturer. But one was priceless and one was worthless.

    The priceless one was owned by Abraham Lincoln and was in his pocket on the night he was assassinated. He had a letter of certification as such, and could trace the ownership all the way back to that night.

    And he takes them both and mixes them up and asks which is the one with value. If you can no longer discern the one with "historicity," then where is it's value?

    And every time I see an article like this I can't help but think about that. If I tell you about the life and hardship of an artist, and then present you two poems, one that he wrote and one that was spit out by an LLM, and you cannot determine which has the true hardship and emotion tied to it, then which has value? What if I killed the artist before he could reveal which one was the "true" poem? How do you know which is a powerful expression of the artist's oppression, and which is worthless, randomly generated swill?

  • What file sharing do you recommend?

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  • I loved FFSend. When it died, I ended up standing up a GOKAPI server, as it was the closest alternative I could find at the time: https://github.com/Forceu/Gokapi

    Definitely not as nice as FFSend though. I may have to give that fork a try instead.

  • Donald Trump defeats Kamala Harris to become the next U.S. president, NBC News projects

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  • I mean, he's also going to win the popular vote as well. This isn't a land outvoting people thing. He just won out-and-out.

    All the gerrymandering and EC fixes in the world wouldn't have changed the outcome if he just got more votes.

  • Woman Who Sued Company for Not Giving Her a Farewell Card Finds Out They Did Buy a Card But Almost No One Signed It

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  • Okay, first, autism is in the DSM. It's just as much a mental illness as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or any other thing in the DSM.

    And to be clear, as with literally any other mental illness in the DSM, you can be affected by it to different degrees. The autism banner isn't just the people who struggle with social cues. It covers everything from that to people who are non-verbal and can't leave their house by themselves.

    All that said, it feels to me like you're drawing the lines in the sand where they make you feel good, not where they make objective sense.

    It feels like you're saying that we shouldn't hold autistic people accountable for being a particular type of asshole because they "just can't understand." That's dehumanizing my guy. I know a lot of autistic people. The vast majority of them have learned good social etiquette. Is it harder for them? Sure. Are they always perfect? No. But they recognize that to be a good member of society they'll have to work harder in some areas to overcome certain things.

    It's not about hating a blind person because they can't see. It's about hating a blind person for repeatedly and unapologetically kicking you in the shins. The solution to reduced capacity isn't to ignore and excuse it. It's to be understanding and patient as they do the work to overcome it.

    There are plenty of people with narcissism or schizophrenia who are excellent, fully functioning members of society who are just as good of people as you or I. Who love their friends and neighbors and don't lean on their condition as an excuse for their behavior. Is it a god-aweful amount of work and introspection to do so? Absolutely. Is it easy? Absolutely not. But they have agency the same as you or me. The same as someone with autism. But some people choose to overcome. Some choose to embrace the treatments and therapies needed to allow them to be a good neighbor and friend and citizen. And they have the agency to do so.