Skip Navigation

Posts
1
Comments
1731
Joined
3 yr. ago

They sleep upside-down, vespertine, and roam the woods at night to forage for wolves.

  • broke out into tears and crying and screaming because they wanted me to be upset

    Luckily for me, this was how my first LTR ended. I was completely floored by their 180, but I noped out instead of taking the bait, and that experience saved my ass more than a few times in the years that followed.

    It's some real bullshit behavior, but I feel like I might've lucked out learning that lesson so early. Pretty telling that so many haven't yet grown past that early developmental stage, and some never do. 🤌🏼

  • HeMiCo, in all things. This is the way.

  • Can we make it a sect of Pastafarianism, or would that get too weird too fast, with the appendages and all? 🤷🏽‍♂️ Regardless, this notion's got rhythm and it yearns to be shared with the world. 🤘🏼

  • My next kobold will also loathe someone called "Erwin". They sound like a real twit.

  • You are a mythic creature. Don't let anyone try to sell you on anything different.

  • If you make a habit of punching those adjacent to you, there will be a moment when no one is behind you for anything.

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

    Jump
  • Should've been watching The Fifth Element, instead. It's all there. 🤩🤌🏼

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

    Jump
  • What tech "breakthrough" claim on IG and GH these days isn't? 🫣

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

    Jump
  • Deep cut, niice 🤌🏼

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

    Jump
  • I don't think

    You're well on your way already.

  • They're different times?!

  • Still is.

  • She looks like Kermit, sitting on a wall back in the day and about to drop some clarifying truth about the universe. ✨🥰

    Hey! You! Human. You will know: I have licked now my rectum clean on this couch for the 3,742nd time, and (unlike every other time when I blotted it dry by sitting on every surface I could find) ... I'm taking it to your super-comfy, pleasantly cool, freshly laundered pillowcase this time. Because, you're special to me.

  • They're professional chimney squeaks, now?

  • You know Donnie doesn't let anyone touch his keyboard. Not with those mitts.

  • "death by milking"? Sounds heinous. 😱

  • Dams*

    (fuck me, is is Spellcheck Saturday? 😅)

  • TBF, you're gonna want a spade, not a shovel. The pointed end is farrr more versatile than the flat, blunted front of a shovel.

    ie. A shovel =/= a tactical spade 🤌🏼

  • It's better when the punchline isn't apparent.