Another +1 for YUNOhost. I went from zero experience self-hosting to having my own email, fediverse instance, file server and several websites on a VPS. I would never have had the patience to figure this out without it.
AFAIK If you host GotoSocial it links out to the instances where content is hosted, rather than downloading it as a copy.
I have a single-user instance on a tiny VPS and it uses hardly any resources. I think part of the reason for that is the above. You have to use a client application with it because there is no web interface, which I think is partly why it is so lightweight.
Might be worth looking at if you're concerned about accidentally hosting things you don't want.
The U.S. empire is falling and I feel the entire world no longer gives a fuck
I think, like me, most thinking people in Europe do give a fuck about the ordinary Americans who have had no responsibility for all of this. But your government has made it clear to us that it's not an ally and has basically said "fuck you" to us.
You can easily install most of those services on YUNOhost - in fact I have a bunch of them running on a cheap VPS. All open source. It even comes with email and XMPP out of the box. I had no hosting experience beforehand and I rarely have to touch it these days. I would want more resources if I had 10 people using the whole Nextcloud suite every day but if you wanted to go the VPS route I'm sure you could easily do it for less than €5/month/person. You can run it on your own hardware as well.
I use the Thunderbird email client to set up filters which send email to set folders.