I've closed almost every account as well. I like Bluesky and PixelFed so far. As far as phones go, I'm just going to keep my same Android for now. It's old and I will not upgrade until I have to. I use fdroid for everything. I though of switching to Apple, but as you said, they are kissing the ring too. Sad times.
mailbox.org seems pretty good. No apps though. And setting up syncing for calendar and contacts takes a bit of work. but once it's working, it's good. I'm using thunderbird mobile for mail and DAVx5 to sync contacts and calendar.
a good friend of mine is a hard core Juggalo. Most of them are very accepting. I've been to a gathering and it's wild. Good people, lots of drugs and titties. I have a soft spot for clown girls. The music isn't my thing and the anti-science stuff is cringe. But all in all they seem like good folks.
for mail, Mailbox.org (originally I said posteo but I was unable to get the payment to go through. idk why). For drive, calendar, contacts, passwords, I'm working on setting up nextcloud but it's not ready yet. I still have a few months before I'm downgraded. for VPN, I'm still looking for alternatives.
I did not realize that. Im trying out Aegis and it seems like a good replacement so far.