I had one move cross-country with me, then admit to cheating the whole time we were together, then disappear on my birthday, after which she apparently shaved her head and moved to Indonesia.
If they mention it, complain you don't make enough and have to buy really shitty, watery orange juice and they should be ashamed that they've humiliated you, etc... etc...
Now you get to drink during calls AND you're making more money.
"Hell yeah. NICE! What a round little number you are down there! I love when this happens. Come to daddy!"
grunting sounds while bending over to pick up coin