Hey look, once my body is donated it's not my business what they do with it. I'm the same way that once I hand over spare change to the guy on the street, it's not my business what he does with it.
Seek therapy. That might sound snarky but I'm sincere. I was in a similar place long ago and therapy helped me become content with myself. After that, I got a job, formed a community, and formed a romantic relationship.
But I don't just use it for watching videos. I also use YT music to listen to a few hours of music every day, and I also use it as off site storage for hundreds of hours of 4k video.
I think pausing your watch history will accomplish this, but then of course your watch history will be paused.