How do you think they're going to learn to behave in public if they're just cooped up 24/7? People being annoying and noisy is just a part of existing as a human being. We shouldn't stunt the growth of entire fucking generations just because they make you uncomfortable.
Right before they get to celebrate, SandwichCorp rushes to sue them for a made-up reason to prevent their business from getting destroyed by a machine that gives starving people sandwiches.
Because he is, real or not, a very important and influential cultural figure and has been a very large and dominant part of Western culture since late antiquity, and billions of people believe him to be real, unlike Draco Malfoy who has only been around for a few decades and hasn't caused a massive political, economical, cultural, linguistic, and religious impact across continents.
But if there was only one person with a dick alive, wouldn't it still restrict the gene pool way too much, as every child conceived after the mass disappearance of penis-owners would have the same father, and thus they would have no choice but to either reproduce with older women or their half-siblings? So I'm not sure if even that could prevent human exctinction.
I think the problem for me would be less about corruption and more about me not being capable of taking that kind of responsibility.