Been a student. Been a clerk. Been a salesperson. Been a manager. Been a teacher. Been an expatriate. Am a husband, father, and chronicle.
You monster.
That movie, in my mind, hinges on the premise, delivered by Stanley Tucci: "but what if we could?"
I know he's not the first and won't be the last, but damn if that didn't annoy me back in '03. It was just so.. gutless as a sci-fi explainer.
Ok, I'll be the first to recommend it...
I really like Final Space. I like how much Olan Rogers fought for this show. I thought it was pretty trite until the end of S01. Though, one of the most gut-punch moments in the series comes at S01E06.
Mind you, that's one.
It's a show with heart, strong character arcs, appropriate stakes, wit, and a charm all its own.
Olan Rogers didnt get to finish this as show, but the graphic novel closer just dropped. Hopefully, I'll be able to pick one up used somewhere because I can't justify $175 for a book unless it's for an academic degree.
Her character doesn't show up until S02. She's a total badass.
Friends, sure, and hopefully family, are different. We are a social species. Beyond that, it sounds like you have a lovely child and some wonderful kids in their orbit.
Below is a long winded way of getting to this point: people stuck at Kohlberg's stage 2 are not behaving maturely, they're behaving like children. This arrested development helps to explain why a person would put people into their phone contacts as transactional arrangements rather than as humans with names. Its jerkyy, childish behaviour
Notably, however, in an intensely transactional world, such behaviour is REWARDED. As such confers a selective advantage. So does throwing a well-timed tantrum, playing dumb, lying, flattering, and being intensely selfish.
That said...
Watch your children closely. Mind their interactions. The more people they know, the more they realize they dont know everyone, and as they see more interactions and develop a wider array of desires, some people will become a means to an end.
Taking Kohlberg's view, children are pre-adolescent. The next stage of moral development takes place during adolescence. For some it'll be earlier. For some, later or never.
When your 5-year old, or 15-year old, hates you and screams at you for not being the means to their achievable end, that's stage 2. Same when a 45-year old berates a server for getting their drink order wrong. Or, when people are reduced to their functions: If they're using you for your pool and trampoline, and refuse to learn your name, that's stage 2.
Keep in mind also there are overlapping theories of development, some of which describe behaviour better than others in similar situations. Hence, "theory" and not "law." Eric Erikson's theory of psychosocial development, Lev Vygotsky's theory of social development, and more are out there.
As the parent of two kids under 10, as a teacher to approximately 5000 variously-aged children in the past 19 years, and as a former sales and customer service rep, all people are capable of behaving like "ones who are not psychologically, physically, socially, or legally mature enough to be held responsible for their own actions." There are adults with diminished capacity, or who can be held not criminally responsible under this definition. However, for the most part, it will serve.
- Psychologically mature: ability to regulate internal emotional states while simultaneously interacting with exterior stimuli including others' psychological states; affected by physical, social, and emotional conditions moment to moment.
- Physically mature: let's go with 21 for this one. For legal reasons. 24 for Montessori reasons. 25 for insurance reasons.
- Socially mature: able to let go of the "main character" perspective and recognize that society is made of many main characters. Sonder, as defined by the Dictionary of Obsucre Sorrows, is not a problem for socially (and psychologically) mature people.
- Legally mature: follows from most of the above, but still affected by the previous statements about "diminished capacity, or ... be[ing] held not criminally responsible".
Any of these immaturities can be problematic. All of them together is the license we give children as they develop. If, by adulthood (25 at the OUTside), they're really struggling to exhibit maturity in more than one of these, I'd wonder what happened in childhood to cause that. Anti-social or asocial? Sociopathy risk. Psychologically immature? Risking psychopathologies.
This is a long winded way of getting to this point: people stuck at Kohlberg's stage 2 are ... wait, I moved this section up top. But the next part bears repeating:
Notably, however, **in an intensely transactional world, such behaviour is REWARDED. As such confers a selective advantage. So does throwing a well-timed tantrum, playing dumb, lying, flattering, and being intensely selfish. **
The world is broken we just live in it.
They are using people as a means to an end; **selfish narcissists with diminished capacity for empathy, responsibility, and reason who want what they want when they want it **— and will kick, scream, cry, yell, and engage in spite until you give in and they give nothing in return. Like a newborn would. We don't blame newborns.
(And, I don't really think newborns engage in spite. It's just funny to think it. After the fact, of course. Because, as you know, when you have a newborn, you might think they pooped three times in three diapers in three minutes, and once on the floor, out of spite. You'd be wrong. But you wouldnt be faulted for the thought.)
The first book I ever read about psychopaths and narcissists is still my favorite. My partner struggles with her narcissism. She gave me the book. It's probably why we're still together. It bugs me, still. But, since I'm an introverted masochist who has first-daughter tendencies (exampled by this very post), challenge accepted.
This is how children see the world.
Usually, people develop beyond this and see the utility of having relationships that are defined by their social depth, shared experiences and values, and aesthetic qualities.
Look also at Kohlberg's stages of moral development. (Sorry for the Wikipedia article link. But, still, it's a start. If I can find a different resource, I'll edit.)
The people youre describing are stuck at stage 2.
Yeah, true.
But it's VERY pretty. Like, extraordinarily pretty. Zack Snyder pretty.
Vapid, sure. But, so nice to look at.
Sometimes, you go for eye candy.
Hiro Murai, Tom Ford, Denis Villeneuve, and Jordan Peele do smart and pretty. At least, their directors of photography support the smart with pretty.
Try out Brick (2005). Mystery and set in a high school with fun, noir-specific language. Same guy wrote and directed the Brothers Bloom (2013) and Knives Out (2019 and 2020), which is some fun mystery.
Nope (2022) and Get Out (2017), Parasite (2018), the Prestige (2004), and Primal Fear (1994) are all great thrillers.
You might also like Shane Black's movies. Funny, some action, The Last Boyscout (1991) and the Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) are guilty pleasures he wrote. Links are fun samples.
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005) and The Nice Guys (2018) are quite solid later work that he wrote and directed.
Romcom/ light sci-fi? Her (2015)
Give us a few to go on, OP.
i.e. Sci-Fi
- Arrival
- 2001
- Dune (2021)
i.e. Crime
- Heat
- Sicario
- Brick
i.e. Non-Blockbuster Comic Book
- Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
- Comic Book Villains
- Dredd (2012)
i.e. Beautiful/Painful international
- Dancer in the Dark
- Incendies
- La Vita e Bella
Good eye, thanks!
The Wrestler (2008)
Requiem For a Dream (2000)
Thank you Darren Aronofsky.
The Cell (2000)
Thank you Tarsem Dhandwar Singh
This thread deserves Dancer in the Dark. Another film that I love but cannot recommend.
Set up your depression-treatment space beforehand. You're going to be there a while. Beauty and tragedy so tightly bound that it feels monumental.
This is the thread that deserves Todd Solondz's films.
Start with Happiness (1998).
We teach people to do all kinds of things. We also teach people why not-to do all kinds of things. They do them anyway.
Furthermore, if all that is needed is the information in order to be able to do the thing, theres no absolute way to prevent every person from accessing that information and, thereby having the means to do what they've be taught not-to do. So, in your scenario, someone, sometime, will use the weapon despite know not-to.
That said, wishing a nuclear weapon into existence — the highly-enriched uranium, the implosion core, the triggering mechanism, and the delivery system needed — seems like a helluva waste when literally everything else is also within reach. I'd hope that intelligence would be needed to understand the process; and that same intelligence would be sufficient to understand the possibility of a thing is not reason to do a thing. There's a very crude example coming up.
Personally, I think the command of matter-energy interconversion, higher-dimensions of reality, and cosmic-levels of power might inspire one to travel widely, live fearlessly, and create new possibilities. Petty grievances — those solvable with nuclear weapons — would seem like non-problems when literally everything else is not a problem either. No hunger, no cold, no lack of shelter, no distance too far, no need for authorities... just wish-fulfillment.
Summoning a nuke would be base, awkward to the point of being detrimental to all relations. It would be like a Supreme Court justice shitting in his own hands and deliberately smearing it on the faces of elders, kindergarteners, military service members, civil-rights activists, and puppies.
Like, ew. Who would do that?
That's an old teacher trick. A better one is using a dry erase marker to remove permanent marker. Not perfect, but works in a pinch.
First and foremost, she gains cleaning. Everything except bathrooms.
Half the cooking. She has dietary restrictions, I don't. We don't eat outside of home often. Except phở bò.
Every form of maintenance. Cars, computers, all machines and objects with moving parts.
Weekends away with friends. I never question and I never say no.
Few hard feelings when she's temperamental.
What do I gain?
I'll probably live longer because she makes me go to the doctor, the dentist, physiotherapy, and reduces my cheese and bacon intake. But not salt. She loves salt.
I gain perspective. I don't occupy i high tower where I know everything and remain academically distant and untouched by the world. I gain knowledge of all the books I don't (and wouldn't) read. I gain access to emotional and psychological non-fiction content.
Finally, I gain the companionship of someone who lets me do my wierd. Nothing kinky or malicious or wasteful or destructive — just unreasonably high standards and unreasonably low output. No blame for it as long as bills are paid and food is in the fridge.
She'd like to see me try to shoot the moon, and I love her for it. We'll see. I can't even put together a string of Lemmy posts worthy of acclaim.
Do not lick the window.
Do not hit the window.
Do not draw on the window with permanent markers.
Dry erase are fine.
Do not moon, flash, or full monty the ground crew. Baggage gets lost that way. Fueling hoses are misconnected that way.
I had intended to not.
Then, after a turn at living together with my partner in an Islamic country — where we were not allowed to officially cohabit — we realized that our rights to watch each other's backs were made way simpler by being married.
So we got married.
Had we always lived in a country that recognized cohabitation or common-law relationships, we might have not. Had our next sojourn not been in a predominantly Catholic country, we might have not. Had we more role models who didn't, we might have not. Had we moved home earlier, we might have not.
But we did. It was 12 years ago.
Bottom line, we don't find it burdensome; or that we are locked in a prison together. We care for one another. We drive one another crazy. We have the same fights over and over. We support each other and keep track of each other's families, friends, medical conditions, and car keys. It's nice. It's mundane. It's comfortable. It's practical.
Getting out would be a giant pain in the everything. And expensive.
We don't wield our rings against one another. We don't demand "rights" from one another because we're married. We don't have extraordinary unspoken expectations of one another. We accept, value, and console one another. We're a unit in this fucked up place.
People are crazy. I'm crazy. She's the crazy I'm used to and can interact with.
I'm too old for new crazy.
Granted, she's certainly gaining more by being married to me than I am being married to her. But, we don't keep score either.
TL;DR — comments in bold.
- Watch: Sci-fi (The Expanse, Star Trek, both hard and soft sci-fi movies), cartoons (Samurai Jack; Avatar: the Last Airbender; Love, Death + Robots)
- Listen to: Hip-Hop, Post-Rock, Future Garage, Chill beats to sleep/study to, UK Garage, Trip Hop (Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Burial, Phelian, LowXY, Bucky, Sibewest, Portishead, Massive Attack, Zero 7, Nujabes)
- Do: sit with a notebook and write/ draw/ design, read books.
I'm an introvert with a very active imagination, high intellectual needs, and it's tough to fall asleep. So, I kinda need to burn out to relax.
It's a guilty pleasure of mine, too. I'm not ashamed. I like what I like.