I'm a decade younger, but I'm sure I'll still be a virgin at 40 and beyond.

I have had a lifelong lack of libido (so it has not been caused by any sort of medications or anything). I also have the inability to feel sexual pleasure. I have tried all different kinds of ways of masturbating and none of them have felt like anything. May as well just be touching my forearm. Puberty was confusing as fuck as I couldn't relate to any of my peers in this way. So I've always felt pretty broken.

I don't really like other people touching me, especially strangers. I have tried kissing a couple of times before and I didn't understand how I was supposed to do it like physically...how you're supposed to move your mouth/facial muscles or whatever. It just tasted like spit and was wet and wasn't pleasant.

Mostly I'm fine with it, but sometimes I get a bit sad that I'll never be able to have a deep lifelong, human connection with someone, raise kids, etc.

I get that I can try to find connections within the asexual community, but it's incredibly small and hard to find someone in my same age in my same geographical area.

Oh also I have intense social anxiety which doesn't help.