I mean, I was talking about candy specifically, not dessert as a whole.
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So you're just gonna be standing on the production line, cranking your hog all day? Weird kink, but okay
Completely disagree. Show me an example of "candy" becoming "food". The definition of candy is basically a concentrated sugar product. Lots of people hate black licorice, but that doesnt make it not-candy.
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Youngest: 18Oldest: < dead
If you're legal, hot, and cool, I'm down. Why not?
You don't. Distracting yourself from the emotional experience is how you develop supressed emotions that will keep cropping up for years to come. Instead of trying to distract yourself from these emotions, when they crop up, just take a moment to notice how it feels, and accept it. First be courageous to feel your difficult emotions, then be willing to feel them completely. As you sit with your feelings, they will tend to dissipate over the course of a few seconds or minutes. Then later, the feeling will come back, and you may again feel an aversion to feeling it. And then, again, you can sit with it. Note that there is no pressure to "do it right" any time you feel these emotions since, after all, the emotions will just keep coming back until you have fully processed them.
You note in another comment that you don't know how to embrace something that hurts you. But it isn't complicated. Pain and discomfort are just feelings, and we can accept them with equanimity. It just takes practice.
Touch their genitals!
Stage 1: Find some sort of weapon and defend my home. Take normal emergency procedures, accounting for food, filling bath tubs with water, propane to cook with, etc. I live in a mid density burb, so probably the zombies wouldnt be too dense. Unfortunately, my slidine glass back door and a few large windows would make my hose less than excellently defensible. But my attic is accessible only via retractable ladder, and would be an excellent option. Upon the house being breeched, I could climb up there and stab zombies in the eyes with a sharp pointy on a long stick. With a bit of kicking and breaking, I could make a passage onto the roof, which would be nice if the attic got especially hot or to communicate with surviving neighbors. Crux will be avoiding attracting a hoard, and rationing water.
Stage 2: from the roof, start contacting neighbors who are also in their homes. Start getting together, organizing, pooling supplies. Get together in the most defensible house in the neighborhood. Set up parties to collect water, food, and weapons, but otherwise stay relatively hunkered down. Daily bite inspections mandatory, obviously. Crux will be not attracting a hoard, and maintaining community stability and organization. Eventually, food will start to run low as we deplete the neighborhood's pantries.
Stage 3: The hoard will likely have concentrated downtown by now. Food is running low, but the local theat has also receded significantly. Time to go on the offensive. Send out scouting parties to gather intelligence on hoard position, and develop tactics for avoiding drawing the hoard to our base. Contact other cells of survivors, but be careful not to disclose our base location. Stockpile weapons, food, water, and vehicles as much as possible. Also, walkie talkies for improved communication. Crux will be not attracting the attention of hostile survivors to our base.
Stage 4: We go on the offensive. We outfit our convoy of vehicles as best as we can, and head towards downtown. Previous scouting missions will have mapped out a path clear of obstructions. Scouting day-of would route us on a path with minimal hoard density. We would quickly arrive at our destination - the city's hockey arena. We park the convoy to set up a perimeter around the staff entrance, and defend that perimeter as we break through the door. Making it through the door will be the crux, as the commotion of breaking through it will likeli alert any zombies nearby inside, as well as any outside who hadnt already noticed our convoy. However, the chokepoint of the door is an advantage to us, and we can stick them with sharp pointies on long sticks as they come for us until we catch a break.
From here, it is on. We sprint into the arena and go up as fast as possible, doing our best not to get bogged down. Zombies are not very coordinated, so the higher we go, the easier the going gets. At the top of the stands, we can vault out of the nosebleeds and into the press box, where we should be safe for a while as the hoard climbs the stands after us. Breaking down a few more doors from here, and we will have access to our destination: the catwalks.
120' above the arena floor, there are a few catwalks, and importantly, a grid of beams forming the structure of the arena's roof and walls. As quick as we can, we reach the safety of the beams, and then get to work removing the guardrails from the catwalks. And then... we wait. The initial zombies which followed us to the press box will soon arrive. But zombies are both dumb and not coordinated. So I can sit on a 6" box beam indefinitely. But a zombie on a catwalk with no handrail will see me, walk towards me, and plummet 120' down to the arena floor. Splat! We don't do much. Just sit there as the zombies walk over the edge and fall to their doom one by one. As the stream relents, we go out on scouting missions, attracting isolated groups up and guiding them to the abyss. Eventually we conduct a room by room search, ensuring the building is clear. From there, we radio to the convoy, and we start moving our supplies in. Everything goes to the beams - food, water, hammocks, batteries.
Stage 5: We remove our convoy barricade, and the hoard starts to flow in. We lead them up to the catwalks, and one by one, they leap to their doom. The arena has a 700,000 sqft field. A human body only takes up about 2 cubic feet. My metro's population is about 3 million. So we need 6,000,000 cubic feet of volume for dead bodies. Luckily, that is just about 8.5' off the ground for the 700,000 sqft field. Even accounting for the fact that the zombies won't liquify then they crater, that is plenty of margin for error when we have 120' to work with. Sure, not all the zombies will die in the fall - but physics is physics, and zombies with broken legs and shattered rib cages sure won't be moving very fast.
We draw in huge numbers of zombies at once, wait for them to extinguish themselves, then barricade the entrance once more and conduct room by room searches and manually kill any survivors. These are also nice breaks for resupplies from our survival cell outside. Then the outside cell runs a convoy through the city and draws in another part of the hoard. After a couple weeks, large hoards should cease to be a thing in the metro area.
Stage 6: We run systemic searches of the metro to search for smaller, breakoff hoards, which are then drawn to the arena. After these are cleared, life can become a bit more normal. The city will divide into neighborhoods, each operating as an independent defence cell. Walls are built around each neighborhood both to keep zombies out and to serve as a defence against our breaks in adjacent cells. Room by room searches are conducted of the whole metro area. Unfortunately, by this point, food supplies for the whole city will likely be running low.
We will have a very hard winter.
Stage 7: With global supply chains now collapsed, we start growing our own food on every available surface. When we aren't farming staple crops, we are busy building a city perimeter wall, lest another hoard come through.
Stage 8: we continue living
I mean, the problem is that you see women as a "them" that might be the source of a problem or that might have issues.
If you really wanted to do this for the sake of the women you are teaching, you would focus on solving problems women typically encounter in the dating market. But the way you approach the topic shows you don't really care about that. What you are actually fantisizing about is gathering all women together in a room and airing your grievances at them, and then all of them being shocked at how right you are and the terrible way they have acted, and then for them to all change their actions. You're indulging in a fantasy where women validate your suffering and then solve your problems for you.
And while indulging in these fantasies may feel good in the moment, it shows off a lot of bitterness (hence the downvoting) and doesn't do anything to help you actually achieve anything you want.
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What is your opinion of someone who is 26 and still wears a High School uniform in public?
First thought would be that they have some sort of developmental disorder. Quickly following that thought would be the consideration that maybe they have a weird kink that they are deciding to share with this unsuspecting grocery store.
But if the person seemed happy, confident, intelligent, and attractive, and the outfit was clean, well put together, and excellently tailored, I would assume they are some kind of artist/fashion model making a statement. But still, it would be a transgressive statement.
Yep. The math checks out. So....?
People in their 30s hanging out with people in their 20s is normal, jfc
Because I want to be. I have a few casual partners and am regularly looking for others - but I find that I typically put more into relationships than I get out of them.
I think most people enter into relationships more out of a desire to remove uncertainty in their lives around having companionship (of whatever particular form they desire), and aren't really being served by the relationship. But in life, uncertainty is the only constant, and we grow as people and can materially benefit by embracing it. So my take is that I will only enter into a relationship where I can reasonably expect that the relationship would serve me in achieving what I actually want in life, rather than simply being a crutch to avoid what I don't want. And if I am lonely - then I am lonely. Loneliness is unpleasant. Good. One more unpleasant thing to work on acknowlaging and accepting to increase my inner tranquility.
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Tbf, it wasn't just that. I just think it was the biggest single factor. I also started exercising, started avoiding added sugars, cooked more food myself at home and cooked from base ingredients rather than packaged meals, and in general did my best to avoid processed food. I largely stopped playing video games and watching tv, and spent a lot more time having fun outside, meeting new people, and hanging out with friends. And in general, I adopted a mindset that I was a happy, healthy person, and so it was only natural I would do the things a happy, healthy person would do, and would spend time with other happy, healthy people
I will also say that I don't think your current mindset/strategies are serving you very well. Personally, I just don't think counting calories is a great strategy for almost anyone. But more broadly, you describe yourself as "greedy", which is a sin, which implies some level of self-hatred - and this sort of motivation tends to result in binge-purge (or binge-binge) cycles. I think a better strategy is to find some kind of exercise you find fun and do it with other people, and make very tasty food that is still healthy
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I feel like your question carries an assumption that a relationship should, or even can, fulfill you. If you are relying on that relationship or partner for your sense of fulfillment, what happens when the relationship ends, or the person leaves?
I can't tell you how to live your life, but from my perspective this sort of thinking is counterproductive to having a good relationship. You will always be dependent on your partner for your sense of fulfillment. And so, if they start doing things that would otherwise be dealbreakers for you, you may very well stick around in order to maintain that sense of fulfillment - which is the framework for an abusive relationship. Or else is the setup for codependency, where both of you are miserable in the relationship, but neither are willing to break things off.
I don't think the transactional nature of your father's relationship is problematic. Maybe he really would want a less transactional relationship, but feels this is the best he can get. Or maybe he is completely happy with himself as he is, and his relationships are the icing on top of an already excellent life. And while his relationships may be transactional, there is nothing really stopping them from moving into more emotional realms, nor anything stopping him (presumably) from pursuing other more emotional relationships with other people.
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I like the other suggestions people are making. Another tip is to keep the sodas not always easily accessible. So if you tend to drink them at work, keep them at home, or if at home, at work.
But I think more importantly, I suggest making a habit of taking 10 breaths each time before you open a can. This isn't an exercise in willpower, where you try to wrestle the can out of your hand. Instead, you are simply taking ten breaths, and noticing whatever feelings or emotions are present around the desire to drink a soda or the anticipation of drinking it, or whatever else comes into your awareness. If you want to drink the soda after 10 breaths, drink it. If you no longer feel the need, then don't. And if you discovered a really interesting feeling, you can take another 10 breaths before deciding. It is all about noticing and becoming familiar with and accepting the feelings and emotions that are creating the impulse to drink soda. You noted that coke is your emotional support food, and I totally get that - so the way to improve is probably going to be by becoming deeply familiar with the emotions driving you to seek cokes, which will release their power over you.
Another suggestion I would make is to use ✨The Power of Friendship✨. Talk to friends, family, or partners about your goal of quitting sodas. They might have even better tips than we do. But more importantly, they can help you in ways we can't. For example, if you struggle with having soda at home, you will need a partner's agreement to remove it from home (assuming they also drink soda). They can be a sounding board for both your practical ideas and emotional struggles through the process. And they can act as accountability partners - one of the most powerful things you can do to break bad habits is to have a friend on speed dial so you can call them and say "hey, I'm really craving that third soda right now. Can we talk?"
Another suggestion - this may sound a bit dickish, but it would probably help if you just improved your life in general. Coke is your emotional support food - so it would be easier to give up if you needed less emotional support. What are the things in your life which are driving you to drink coke? Stressful job? Find ways to make it less stressful, or find a less stressful job. Hate commuting? Move closer to work. Financial trouble? Find a way to make more or spend less. I'm rattling these off like they are nothing, and they aren't - these could be some big hairy beasts of goals in your life. But you eat an elephant one bite at a time, and if these problems are causing you to be more stressed and drink more coke, it is worth getting started on them now, so that your life will be better later - even if later is a few years from now.
One final thought - I don't think giving up vices should ever be the top most important goal in your life. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard about kicking bad habits was to try your best to fill your life up with good habits instead. If you are spending your time chasing after goals that inspire you, hanging out with good friends and meeting new people, having fun doing things you enjoy, then you will may find that the impulse you had to drink coke simply evaporates since you were always focused on something else that was more fun or interesting.
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I went cold turkey and just started drinking only water. But if thats not an option for you, you could also just switch to sugar free.
I mean, estate lawyers are a thing