c/Superbowl
For all your owl related needs!
My best friend (friends for about 40 years now) and I still talk a few times a month. His schedule has always been busy since he's a workaholic, but we always find time for each other.
We've talked most of our lives about emotional stuff, but he came out about 15 years, so I don't know how much that plays into him being more emotionally available. I'm straight but feel fine talking about personal stuff with people. I just know that stuff is important to talk about.
My other closest guy friend is more a typical dude. We've had some personal chats. He's kinda had like a prolonged 5 year split with his wife, so there's been a lot he's needed to get off his chest.
He doesn't like to get too open, but now that he's kinda living on his own (partial custody of kids) I've been trying to be really supportive of him because I know he's going through a lot and doesn't really have anyone else to talk to as most of his lifelong friends are 3 hours away. He kinda thanked me the other day for always being so positive and upbeat around him, so it seems to be working even if he can't always acknowledge it.
My brother is probably my next closest guy friend. We're very opposite in lifestyle, but humor-wise we are the same and we grew up the same crappy ways, so we get along well. He's much more social than I am, so he's busy a lot, but we still BS a few times a month and have dinner sometimes.
It's important to have bro friends. I have a good amount of female friends as well, but some things are just more bro-ish. The girls can give equally valid, if not better advice sometimes, but it's nice to have a guy to get another guy's opinion on things too.
I wouldn't just get all sobby on someone out of nowhere, but if you want to get more personal, just lean into it a bit and feel out how receptive people are. Sometimes, guy or girl, people are cautious about getting into someone's personal life, either they're insecure talking about personal things, or they don't wanna get blamed if they give advice that doesn't work out, etc, but you just gotta go for it in a reasonable manner if you want to be more open.
- Jump
What work of fiction (book/comic/movie/tv show/etc.) changed the way you think about the world? Why?
I do like book Vetinari, purely because we do have those insights to his thought process and that as he's a fictional character, his methods will work as intended.
As I've watched the representative democracy in the US make its faults very obvious, it's got me questioning other types of leadership. Distributed power like communism or anarchism have some appealing features, but radically changing any government seems to require some form of authoritarianism to see the change through and to maintain it. That seems a lot like what Vetinari did to stabilize the city. He's great as a fictional leader, and I think his grey areas highlight some important differences between him, and let's say, Carrot.
Thinking we could find a real life Vetinari is what still concerns me about a political revolution, as so many real people will promise what he brought to a place like Ankh, but then instead prioritize themselves. He makes me both believe a little more that we could have a successful change in governance, but then everything in the real world reminds me it is fiction. Not impossible, but not likely as real humans are so fallible.
Discworld books feel the opposite of real life in that way. In the books, we know more of Vetinari than we do of the life of most peasants, and what we do know of those peasants, we know they fear Vetinari and think he's kinda evil, while we the readers know he's not. In real life, we see leaders try and present the good side, usually to con us, and be evil behind the scenes. If we saw someone acting like Vetinari, most of us would probably not support him, although Trumpism shows that to maybe not be so reliable, but I'm not sold on him really being altruistic behind the scenes for many, many reasons.
So while I support Vetinari in the books, it just feel paradoxical how we could ever get such a leader for real.
This is one of the big reasons I work with wild animals - that option is never on the table! 😁
- Jump
What work of fiction (book/comic/movie/tv show/etc.) changed the way you think about the world? Why?
Those are the first 3 I read (first was GG, second Mort, third ER) because they all seemed recommended starting places. They are all origins of different sets of characters, so there isn't much back lore for any of those 3, so it gives you a very broad look at life on the Disc.
After finishing those, I knew I'd want to read them all, so then I went and started from the beginning and the rest of the books made much more sense than I think they would skipping about and you'd get light spoilers, seeing maybe some characters being good guys when they weren't in earlier stories or different groups gaining acceptance due to conflicts being resolved (or not).
- Jump
What work of fiction (book/comic/movie/tv show/etc.) changed the way you think about the world? Why?
It makes me wonder if that's ever truly possible. And I'm not as sure it's the citizens he protects so much as the city itself. He's either at least been partially responsible for some killings and will let people die when it benefits not so much himself, but the proper functioning of the city.
Someone like him seems crucial to ensuring a great society, but how do you find someone like that, what would keep them from crossing the line into a less altruistic authority, and what does that society do when that person is inevitably gone?
Him and House from Fallout have been two people I've spent a lot of time thinking about. Both are capable of bringing order out of chaos, but it's a very fine line they seem to walk.
I like Vetinari in fiction, but I'm unsure how I'd feel in real life. To most people he is still scary and seemingly a threat. Only a select few know most of it is just reputation and show.
- Jump
What work of fiction (book/comic/movie/tv show/etc.) changed the way you think about the world? Why?
Near the end of my first read through, and it's been hard for me to believe one guy wrote so many different points of view so well. I've been given both a lot of new perspectives to consider, and I've gotten good reminders of things that I already believed, but had gotten a little bit forgotten as things happen and I've become a little jaded toward some things.
Lately, having just finished Making Money, I've been thinking again about what type of ruler Lord Vetinari is. He's got a lot of aspects that I feel I wouldn't like to him and his leadership style, but I also feel no one comes close to being a better choice for Ankh-Morepork. Plot armor certainly helps, but whenever he puts plots in motion, it's hard to argue with results,
I also like how the Nights Watch doesn't get rid of its derelicts, it finds ways for them to be successful. I have been around some very difficult people, but very few that are totally useless, and once you can narrow down what their strengths are, you can find a lot of value and often a decent person in most everyone.
Also a big fan of Death! Some of the best moments of justice and sweetest of rewards have come from him.
I broke down and bought the Breville Smart Oven a couple years back. I think it cooks most things nicer than my electric range, preheats much faster, and doesn't make the house as hot. It's only ever the two of us here, so it's large enough for the vast majority of our oven needs. It's also shown me the benefits of conversion cooking. It's been a great investment.
My oddball pick that I use every single day, OXO Pour Over coffee dripper. Great consistent pour over coffee with none of the fuss.
Aww, I didn't know about the NC Zoo being so cool. I went right through that area and didn't know.
The place I just visited in New York was well incorporated into the local landscape. The first animal we got introduced to there was the river otter at the entrance. I wouldn't have even known it was an exhibit, it was a sectioned off area of the stream running through the park and it looked like it was just meant to keep larger local wildlife out of the zoo.
The otter (Scooter was her name) came when the keeper called her, she followed us back to the area where they check on her and feed her, and she was having the happiest zoomies!
All the other areas looked larger than they likely were required to be, and every animal looked relaxed, and we got to interact hands-on with a few, and they were all very chill.
The worst zoo I was ever at was one near my home. A coworker wanted to go, as they had a baby tiger advertised, which was her fav animal. I was curious where this zoo was, since the area wasn't where I'd picture us getting more than a very small zoo.
It was inside a building in an industrial park! We were both kinda sketched out, but she really wanted to see the tiger, so we went in. It felt like a smuggling operation. Everything was indoors in pens that looked meant for transport. Animals were all very obviously depressed. Not a single thing in there appeared relaxed. We quickly got out of there, and it was thankfully shut down that same summer.
Now that I've worked with animals for a bit, I talk to the keepers about more details of their care, and what regulations they deal with and what rehab or conservation projects they're involved with, and can appreciate a lot of what goes on other than the exhibits, and it's so obvious how much these keepers care about their animals and the support they provide to get animal populations up to return animals to the wild. I don't think anyone would picture animal care as some get-rich type career, it's stinky and dirty work where you can potentially be hurt by animals. These people are there because they care about animals. Some owners I think may give into temptation and cross over into collecting more animals than they have capacity to care for, and then that becomes the problem, but I have gone to many zoos in many states, and there's maybe been 2 or 3 that have been meh, but most are pretty cool. I think zoo haters have either been sadly unlucky and their first one was a crappy one, they just humanize animals in an unrealistic way, or they don't consider the conservation programs they participate in that involve many more animals than are in display.
I don't fault your rationale; I've been to a couple sad zoos. They definitely exist and should be shut down, and some animals will just never do well in captivity. There are still specific animals I think about years later and I hope they are in better places now.
But I just did a private tour of a really great zoo's operations, and I work wildlife rehab where we need to keep animals in captivity for months many times, and some mind it a lot less that others, and some will come back to visit after being released. Animals face a lot of danger and scarcity of resources in the wild, and in captivity, those things are no longer problems. We often picture animals having these wonderful lives of peace and freedom, but we forget about predation, going hungry for days, either not having or constantly having to defend shelter, and how catastrophic even minor injuries or just getting old can be.
There are mandated standards for shelter, animals get individual care plans, giving them the best of food and medicine, they get protection from extreme weather, they often get to choose mates and get to raise their young in much safer and less stressful conditions, and when they get old or lose teeth, etc they still get regular meals, shelter, and nicely heated or cooled places to rest.
Are they captive? Yes. But well-run places aren't miserable for many animals. Maybe at worst like an all-inclusive resort where they tell you not to leave because outside the resort area it gets rough fast or house arrest when you're a millionaire. Zoo animals inspire a lot of people to get involved with conservation or animal care. At my place, we do let the animals go when they are ready. Most of my coworkers seem to think seeing them go free is the best part. Honestly, I worry about all the animals I release. I saw what got them nearly killed to begin with, and I'm sending them back into that world where most things will want them dead, and there are so many human-based hazards they don't understand. Staying with us would likely at least double all their lifespans. They lose a ton of perks when they leave out care. But my job is to make sure they get fixed up and back to nature. I debate whether I'd rather explore more medical opportunities or to see into animal education, since those animals are unreleasable. Either way, I'm here helping them because of all the amazement I got from nice zoos and aquariums.
To those who don't believe there's the perfect someone out there for everyone.... Serendipity strikes again!
I'm also a noob with tech anymore. My old faithful router started dropping this year, replaced it with the Flint 2 earlier this year because I also wanted OpenWRT. It comes with OpenWRT installed, but I don't think it's the plain old vanilla OpenWRT, so when I hooked it up and started setting it up, it needs a firmware update anyway, so I installed the actual OpenWRT from their site. It's been great since, totally happy with it.
Those are good examples. I've never known serious addicts, but seeing how my grammom dealt with grandpa getting Alzheimer's was very difficult, as they'd been married 70 years, so it's not even like she could remember life without him, and then he was physically there, but mentally lost 99% of the time. She was relieved after he was finally at piece, but by then, so much of her felt taken away from her, she basically decided she wanted to not be here if he wasn't and she essentially said her goodbyes to us and said she was going to stop her meds so she could be with him again. She was my fav relative, and was one of the few loving people I had growing up. But I knew for years she was miserable watching pop suffer and be lost and afraid. I told her she didn't owe anyone anything and if she wasn't old enough to make her own decisions, who the heck was? I miss her every day, but I think she was right to feel relief when pop was at peace, and it was right for her to decide she didn't want to be in a world with half of herself missing.
My lifelong best friend just went through the same thing with his mother and a long bout of dementia. It was so physically and mentally demanding on him, his mom seemed very lost and upset almost all the time, and his dad was having all kinds of mental challenges coping with the situation and taking it out on my friend and the caregiver they hired, and as sad as it was to lose her eventually, everyone living's life was in many ways, much calmer and stable and they were able to start healing. I miss her too, as I knew her since I was around 6, so almost 40 years. But much of her was lost to illness and was never coming back.
We also lost both my wife's parents withing the last few years, and I was horrified at how terrible it is to be there while actively losing someone. I was at the hospital with my wife for both of them, and they both were essentially past the point of no return, but we all were there 12+ hours waiting for the physical process to be over. It seemed very demeaning to the person that was dying, and very cruel to the family to just have to sit there and wait for everything to stop instead of giving a loved one the peaceful and graceful end that we give to animals. I think I was more angry than sad, and I felt closer to them than to my own parents. It just seemed needlessly prolonged for all parties involved, and the family is getting mad at the poor nurses, because their hands are tied, so I felt bad for them too. Like, if there is no way they are going to recover, where is the humanity in making everyone sit there and watch that final suffering? It was just baffling to me how we can say that is cruel to let an animal linger like that, but we make families do that every day.
I tried not to go on so off topic for so long, but I get frustrated so many people refuse to talk about death until it's right in front of their face. Some people act like I'm morbid or something, but it is an inevitability, and I think being mentally prepared for it is helpful because you won't be in the right state of mind to think through anything when you're on the spot facing it. It also leads to not having wills, insurance, and plans for many important things the surviving parties will need to deal with that also delays people healing from the experience.
Your family gave that dog a second chance at life for a long time. Someone just permanently damaged him before you guys met each other. Even if he never became a friend, you still gave him more moments of comfort and safety than he would have seen had you guys not taken him in. It's sad he couldn't recover, but if giving him up was the end of his story, you still gave him all you could before that.
Working in animal rescue, I think a lot about animals that can't be saved, and sometimes a calm and peaceful end isn't the worst outcome. You probably know all this, as your story makes you seem very compassionate, but just in case, you shouldn't feel guilty. You guys went above and beyond what most would have done for that poor dog. ❤️
Jet Ski is a registered trademark for Kawasaki.
Glad to help, I hope you enjoy it!
I needed an old prescription from a previous place and the doc didn't want to give it to me at first since it was a few years old. As soon as I told them I wasn't trying to get an old prescription filled, that my current doc had sent me there to get it to help determine my new prescription we've been having trouble narrowing down, she turned it right over.
Disclaimer: not from UK, never have been there.
I've made toad in the hole a few times, because how could I learn of a dish with a name like that and not make it?!
When I was looking for recipes, everything recommended onion gravy, which sounds like it'd be appropriate, and it's paired well when I've made it. I can't find the exact recipe I used, but here is a recipe that sounds approximately like it. Basically onions, beef stock, mustard, and Wooster sauce.
I've honestly never seen anyone recommend doing number 4 before. I grabbed this picture to show the original person how they look in the holder and out, but yeah, like you said, the flush is supposed to do step 4 for you.
I have a hard time sitting still 😅
Superbowl @lemmy.world Owls Team Up with The BORG to Protect Lower Income Farmers in Malaysia
Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world How are you preparing your family for the inevitable, life insurance/will/etc?
Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world Favorite Article of Clothing?
Take extra time to consider other peoples' perspectives or take notice if they're acting different than usual. You might be able to make them smile when they need it, or understand their frustration a little better or even find a way to help them without them having to ask. Some people want help but don't know how to express it, so paying some extra attention can let you figure it out without making it seem like they're being needy or whatever.