Honestly, I use Ubuntu and everything mentioned here are non issues. Except forcing Snaps when using apt.
I've never noticed ads for Ubuntu Pro in my terminal so it can't be that intrusive.
When I install software, I use the KDE software center that let's me pick which one I want to use between Deb, Snaps or Flatpak.
Firefox snap doesn't start as slow as mentioned. At least not anymore.
The malware issue can happen with flatpaks as well and even native packages. In fact there have been more security issues introduced in more bleeding edge distros like Arch and Fedora that didn't affect Ubuntu. So...
Anyway. It's really not that big a deal except for forcing Snaps when using apt. But that can be disabled too. So again, not really a big deal.
In hindsight, the monkey NFT thing was a "good" idea but poorly implemented. It was an attempt to create a digital version of beanie babies or baseball cards.
I mean "good" if you consider beanie babies and baseball card collecting and the value speculation a good thing. (I don't.)
Now we're circling back to Ubuntu, which means "together".