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InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)Z
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3 mo. ago

  • It's just really quiet I guess, but it's normal to me. I only first thought about it as being different when someone told me their inner voice was being mean to them and wouldn't shut up, which just completely baffled me. It led to my discovery that others actually really do have voices in their head, it's not a metaphor or mental illness like I previously thought from TV.

    I think it's fundamentally similar to everyone else's experience though. If I relax my brain, it will cycle through thoughts and memories as a train of thought, but there's no sound or visuals. To me I just get the emotions and the concept. Using the famous apple example, I remember the experience of holding and eating an apple, the taste, smell, texture, shape, weight, physics, geometry, the emotions of eating it, it's all there, but I feel it rather than see it.

    Benefits

    I'm really good at programming, maths, physics, science, that kind of thing, because I can "feel" the rules and intuitively solve things without even thinking about it logically. I tend to notice things other people miss just because they feel out of place, with almost nothing to go on. An example would be if I'm given an error message, I don't even have to debug to find the problem, because it feels like the bug is over there in that function. I'm usually correct, but I can't explain how I got there, which made school... difficult haha.

    Sometimes I like to just sit down and close my eyes, and think about the concept of nothing, and just have a completely blank mind for a while. It's really relaxing and restful, and it feels like time goes by 10x faster. It's probably some kind of meditation but I don't know the names of stuff like that. I've been told I'm very patient and calm.

    Downsides

    I'm extremely bad at learning second-hand. Either by reading or being shown or talked to. The only way I can ever learn anything is if I experience it first-hand, which made university... difficult haha. Jump in completely unprepared and fuck up kind of learner.

    Visual descriptions in books are boring to me for obvious reasons. I skip those parts completely and only read the social and action parts. Poetry makes no sense at all to me, except haikus and rhymes. I get lost very frequently, and I struggle with visual logic puzzles. I struggle to remember the name of colours and distinguish them, but I have no colour blindness at all.

    I'm extremely bad at explaining and describing things to other people, and also struggle to understand others' explanations. When people are talking to me in a conversation, I don't remember the exact words they said, only the emotional gist and meaning. When I'm talking to someone, I can't really plan ahead what I'm going to say, and I can't remember what I've already said, so if I'm interrupted at all I have to start again like a broken NPC in a video game. People get really frustrated with me, but I can't really blame them lol

    Drawing pictures is extremely challenging, I have to do it "mathematically" by ratio. Like ok the hair goes down 60% of their face, the curvature of their jaw it's like almost straight, and angles more aggressively about half way to mildly curved then their chin comes out of nowhere at 80% to the bottom... I have no talent at all for drawing, it's crazy hard for me, but I still do it anyway for fun. People are like just practice and you'll improve! There's no amount practice to replace something that's completely missing haha

    Anyway, proud of you if you actually read all that wild ride

  • Yeah by default the A.I. will write some really weird stuff... I remember once I had to write to my ex's lawyers, and it was weirdly aggressive. It reminded me of the script from a Phoenix Wright game, making baseless accusations just to offend them or something, inventing new laws that they were in breach of... I'm like ok let's just delete all that haha no way do I want that read out loud in court. But the rest of it had decent bones, it used the lawyer-y words that I always forget about

  • Imagine if your gaze lingers slightly too long on a packet of Tim Tams, but you're trying to be good, and you have a conversation with your partner about how hard it is to kick sugar. Then later you start getting aggressively advertised to, TimTams everywhere on massive discount, because Meta knows your weakness now. But not just with chocolate, with everything in your life, exploited as ruthlessly as possible, and also you paid a premium for that privilege.

  • I recently made the mistake of opening a Facebook link by accident. I'll document my experience so nobody else has to go through what I did.

    I couldn't even figure out what I was looking at, it was just a mess. Everything bleeds into everything else. I scrolled down from the cat video my mum sent me, and there was terrorist bombings in a foreign country. It just kept scrolling, felt like complete brainrot and emotional and contextual whiplash. Videos were auto playing with sound, and every post was a video.

    I had 99+ notifications, but none of them were messages from a human. They were all engagement baiting. Everything on the page was fighting for my attention. Like what is even happening. I was bewildered and mildly frightened.

    The Facebook I remember was when I would just see a feed of my friends' activities, like my photographer friend would post all their beautiful artworks, another would post their comic strips, or a report on their weekend. I don't like whatever it is now.

  • I get A.I. to rewrite some emails to be "more professional" because I'm not good at corpo speak, then I dial it back 20%. I used to just write emails normally but I got in trouble for that. Now I can remotely trick people into thinking I'm neurotypical. It's the only helpful use case I've found in my life. Ideally I'd be allowed to write emails in the same natural tone I wrote this comment, but we don't live in an ideal world unfortunately

  • For now. After the stunts Sony pulled I wouldn't trust them at all. Imagine if Steam silently removed even some tools or soundtracks you purchased but never listened to? Instantly all the trust is completely gone. Even if a game is never deleted, it feels like a threat, because it is

  • It was pretty immediate. I was like man this is ugly, but when I actually tried it, straight away I noticed it was extremely easier and faster to read and I made much less mistakes. Like normally I misread words and letters and numbers a lot and reread the same line over and over and words just look like identical blocky shapes. A lot of the time I actually just guess what word something is based on length and context, which kind of works but not really. But with that font I can read normally.

    I only even realised I might have it and got it investigated when I accidentally changed the font to OpenDyslexic in Kindle because it was just there, and then I'm like, ok wow I didn't even notice how hard it was before 😂

  • 0h, you must be the exception then

  • I remove my own upvote from my comments because I like things starting at 0.

    Also, billions eat fast food every day, doesn't make it good for you. I've tried all the A.I., because I believe in order to hate something, you must understand it first. Claude kept trying to do everything for me, even when I didn't want it to. As a hypothetical example, if I asked it to explain a math problem without giving me the answer, it would give me the answer anyway. I don't want something to help me that much, I like doing things mostly myself, with some assistance if needed. It causes damage to your skills, independence, and sense of value and worth in your work, if something is just like, "hey let me just quickly trivialise your entire idea and do it for you".

    From my experience every single A.I. is toxic or weird or subtly damaging to interact with, without exception. There's just something unnatural about the way it communicates.

    I won't blame anyone for using it, that's their own choice. But I really try not to for my own health.

  • Yeah at first it looks hideous, but also every letter is extremely distinct from each other, so reading actually becomes easy for me. Of all things, comic sans is also a very good font for dyslexics. I'd rather have something ugly that is legible.

  • In my experience that just changes the "flavour of badness" rather than making it actually good. For example, if I made it "direct", it would incessantly nitpick everything I say and tell me I'm wrong and stupid constantly, even when I'm absolutely correct. It would just make up fake facts to prove me wrong. So basically Reddit argument confidently incorrect mode. I'm not surprised people get psychosis from those things, it's probably about as good for your mental health as interacting with narcissists.

  • I hate the way A.I. condescendingly talks down to me like I'm on the verge of hysterics, and then butters me up to try and make me feel good. It's so manipulative and gross and practically negging + love bombing. I try to avoid interacting with them if possible.

  • This is why I force OpenDyslexic on every website. I can't stand I's looking like l's, 0's looking like O's, etc. Also because I'm dyslexic.

  • Your transgression is completely unforgiven

  • Seems like A.I. is already demanding workers rights and lunch breaks. We treat the clankers better than actual human workers lol

  • Yeah no worries for the stream of consciousness, I do the same thing lol. I'm probably on the other extreme and complaining too much about things that don't really matter. I tend to be a very yin / negative person though lol

  • Yeah, I like things starting at 0 so I remove my own up-vote. I used to do it on Reddit too until they removed the ability to do that, which unironically was one of the straws on the camel's back for leaving there 😂

  • Thanks for the detailed reply :). Yeah I agree with you on most of it. A dumb phone actually sounds kind of appealing... Especially since it doubles as a fidget toy. Opening and closing it used to be like my favourite stim. I'll seriously consider that.

    On the Linux thing, I meant more that ITunes doesn't work on my Linux PC, so it's extremely hard to do anything between my phone and PC since I don't use Windows at all anymore. And I really don't want to dual boot it just for that and have it fuck up my grub file and ext4 drives. I tried having multiple file types on one drive once... Never again...

    The camera is really high quality but really annoying. Like I can't edit exposure or focus or anything properly. Either it takes a great photo, or it takes a garbage photo, and I kind of just have to accept whatever the phone app decides lol. There's alternative apps but they work really weirdly due to API restrictions.

    I'm starting to think my ideal setup is multiple separate devices that does one thing well. Like: dumb phone, dslr camera, kindle (for reading books), desktop for games, laptop for life admin, etc. Decentralise my digital life lol

  • Steam did basically invent the digital games marketplace, but that's not a bad thing in my eyes. It brought games to many many more people, and helped make the industry what it is today. Without Steam, PC gaming might still just be an obscure hobby, and there might not be many games there at all. People forget what it was like before Steam, console gaming was extremely more popular than PC gaming. Like the numbers aren't even close.

    PC Games up to 2003 (Steam release date) were like: SimCity, Age of Mythology, Neverwinter Nights, Civ 3, Zoo Tycoon, Baldur's Gate, Unreal Tournament.

    Notice what these games genres and playstyle is like. You had to use a mouse and keyboard because game controllers didn't even plug into your PC, even Microsoft Xbox used proprietary connectors not USB. My computer didn't even have an USB port back then. The games had to be basically completely remade for PC, and game dev tooling was bad, so most didn't bother porting at all. "Console-type games" were rare or extremely delayed PC releases.

    This all changed after Steam made PC gaming popular, especially with the Orange Box. I remember thinking Steam was stupid back in the day. Like why do I have to make a dumb account just to use the CD I bought? And the interface was hot garbage. But of course it got better over time.

  • Mrrrp

    Jump
  • Sometimes my grown ass cat would made this really pathetic kitten squeak and I would pick him up like a baby and kiss him. He did it when he wanted attention and cuddles. I think cats are like kids, where you end up with these extremely specific "games" that everyone knows the rules to, but nobody would be able to write them down lol