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Waldelfe

@ Waldelfe @feddit.org

Posts
2
Comments
120
Joined
1 yr. ago

  • People who have used dating apps before, what was your experience like?

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  • It originally was but many people look for relationship on tinder and when I used it there was the option to say if you were looking for a hookup or something serious.

  • People who have used dating apps before, what was your experience like?

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  • I tried tinder once 8 years ago when I moved to a new city. Quickly deleted it. Basically every swipe was a match but then the men would not answer, eventually unmatched without ever answering or immediately text something sexual. Oh and so many "my profile says X but actually...." I think I met with three guys over the course of three month or so and they all tried to pressure me into having sex on the first or second date. One even mocked me for thinking any man would look for anything other than quick sex on tinder.

    So it was pretty horrible and I felt mostly unsafe with the guys I met so I quickly stopped using it. I think it's a horrible way to meet people.

  • Which pejorative aliases do you use for companies or products?

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  • doof = stupid in German

  • Which pejorative aliases do you use for companies or products?

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  • Windoof

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  • Men just want this simplistic life with no amenities. No bed just a mattress, cheap canned food, cheapest tshirts bought in packs of 50 and so on. I'm sure there are people who genuinely like that, but a lot of the times I find it so sad when men think they can't treat themselves. And often if they just tried finding out what is a good product for them they'd find that it solves a lot of their problems.

    One example: my husband told me when we met that he didn't like to go to the pool because he was very self-concious about his unclean skin and lots of akne. He was also using any cheap soap he saw at a shop. I did some research for him and we tried some medical shower gels and just a few month later his skin had cleaned up completely. He isn't even someone who buys into this manliness-stuff, but I think society just never suggested to him that as a man he could care about what soap he buys and put any thought into it. For him it was just a fact of life that he had bad skin and he was sad that it kept him from going to the pool or sauna, but he kind of accepted it as his fate. Because somehow trying to feel good and care for your body is still coded female outside of some fitness/bodybuilder etc bubbles.

    He has since also found out that investing some research and money into the right mattress and bed base helps against his back pain that he had before also kind of just accepted.

  • What are the best/your favorite versions of classic Christmas tunes and why? Interested in both classical pieces, and vocal songs.

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  • What 'bad' movie could you fix with a simple casting change?

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  • I mean, neither of them are a good choice for the character. Veronique is a smart redhead who's good with all sorts of creatures in the comics. She's mostly the calm and diplomatic one who can talk her way out of a situation and is usually in a good mood. Casting her with a blond person that has a resting bitch face throughout the movie is the worst offence to the character. Valerian is always portrayed as a bit hotheaded and lazy but also very smart and experienced. In the movie they made him some type of hotheaded action hero when him being experienced, techsavvy and a good strategist is a big part of his character in the comics.

    That being said, the sibling thing isn't too far off. They are never portrayed as having a romantic relationship and (spoiler)

    end up being raised together as actual siblings after being rejuvenated in the second to last comic.

  • Trump administration says sign language services 'intrude' on Trump's ability to control his image

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  • Don't you know? Disabilities didn't exist until 2008 or so.

  • TIL the number of pedestrians killed by drivers in the U.S. rose by 70 percent between 2010 and 2023

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  • I didn't drive for many years because I always lived in cities with good public transport. When I drove again for the first time in 2021 I was shocked by how basically everyone went 10 over. I really feel this has gotten way worse in the last 20 years. Going 60 where the speedlimit is 50 seems to be the rule, not the exception nowadays.

  • Does anyone else miss traditional forums?

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  • Signatures were so silly but fun. I doubt you could do something similar today. Too many people are so cynical and would dismiss it as stupid. Back then you could be more silly on the internet without immediate backlash of people putting you down.

  • Does anyone else miss traditional forums?

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  • I miss them, too. I was a member of a writing forum. There were maybe 30-40 very active members. You'd come to know them even if you didn't know their real names. But you'd read from Flower123 in one post and then there was always a category for smalltalk and you'd recognize Flower123 when they wrote about being sick or their hobby. We even had regional meetings for a big poetry forums where 10/15 came to a café. There was just a feeling of being a community.

    Unfortunately I am not sure if this would even work today, even if we replicated the forumstructure 1:1. People are more used to consuming media online. You can see that here in Lemmy, too. Many people complain about the lack of content, but not many post or engage. People want to consume, not take an active role in a community. The only reason reddit still kind of works, apart from the bot content, is that it has a giant, international user base so it still feels like a lot of content even if only 10% are very active.

    The whole internet culture has shifted from a light-hearted playground to a consumption-based minefield. People use the internet for different reasons. It's a huge difference if I come home from school, ask my parents to use the internet for an hour, go on that one poetry forum that is 80% of my internet activities and interact with the same 30-40 people every day or if I have the internet with me every second of the day and have an endless supply of consumable content that is enjoyable without interacting. People don't really feel like they can/should be an active participant in the discourse anymore unless it's by posting their own, standalone content on platforms like tiktok. And then it's not really an interaction with other people, it's more like everybody is yelling into nothingness.

  • What's an unscientific opinion that you firmly hold?

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  • Most instancss I have experienced of tailgating are when people want to drive too fast or unsafely:

    1. I'm going more or less exactly 50 kph, which is the speed limit in the city, but someone thinks because the street is broad and straight they should be able to go 70+.
    2. I know the route and know some dangerous curve or sudden intersection behind a curve is up ahead so I slow down but someone behind me doesn't like it.

    Sure it happens that people are going too slow. Even then it's no excuse to tailgate. All that does is make everything less save for everyone including you. You can honk or overtake at the next opportunity, but all you achieve by tailgating is risk your own life.

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    Male Drivers Sue Uber and Lyft Over Women-Only Ride-Hailing

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  • I would say basically if the person is working on/with your body or if they have some form of physical power over you which is the case if you are getting in their car (and they could in theory lock you in/drive you somewhere else).

    It is e.g. totally fine if a black person would prefer another black person as a hair stylist because they feel they know more about black hair. Same goes for a white person prefering a white hair stylist. At a certain point you should probably ask yourself if you can still participate in society if your demands get too detailed. I would draw the line where the interaction is very unpersonal and takes place in a public setting. Everybody can have a one-minute exchange with any chashier. But as soon as the employee is going to work on your body or put you in a position where you can't easily leave it's fair to choose who works with you.

    I know a lot of people who have a gender preference when it comes to doctors. Not just gynecologists, but any. I know people who'd only go to a male or female massage therapist. I know asians who'd only go to an asian hairdresser. These are all choices people make every day, we just don't notice because we don't filter it through an app.

    As for bigotted people, I don't think you'll change their mind by forcing them to interact with you. If I was e.g. a hindu driver I might even feel safer knowing that people who hate my religion can choose not to be in my car. The safety concern goes both ways.

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    Male Drivers Sue Uber and Lyft Over Women-Only Ride-Hailing

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  • It is already no problem for you to choose a male tattoo artist, a male hairstylist and a male dogwalker. Whereever you choose a single employee to work closely with you and where you are in a somewhat vulnerable position you can already choose. If for some reason you feel more at ease with male doctors, tattoo artists or hairstylists or massagist, noone is stopping you from only booking with a man.

    Whereever you can be in a vulnerable position with an employee it makes sense that you can choose who that person is.

  • U.S. Tech Layoffs Hit Two-Decade High in October

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  • I switched careers from logistics (office) to IT a couple of years ago. Logistics was notoriously badly paid and it was hard to find a job that's not temporary for a year amd then they throw you out. Everybody kept telling us for years to go to IT, because that's where the money and the non-temporary contracts are.... But that's only true for people who've worked there for decades.

    It really does feel like no field is left where you can have a stable career. Accounting, sales, hospital, no matter where you ask, it's temp contracts and shitty wages.

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  • I just found one I like and bought 10 of it.

  • Something that happened to you but no one believes you?

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  • I don't know. She's been painting me as the bad, unruly child that has something wrong with her since kindergarden, so I guess it would be easy for her to make it sound like I just lost my mind and shes the victim. Those who believed her will keep believing her.

  • Fellow 'Fediversers,' what keeps you hanging on here despite the "FV" being a work-in-progress, with all its built-in, various bumps & difficulties to experience along the way?

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  • The vibe is a lot like "the old internet". Sure, you don't get a lot of responses most of the time, but those you do get are genuine and in good faith.

    On reddit you can post the most innocuous thing and be met with ridicule or disdain. Most of the posts I made were commented on in a negative way. Even harmless things like "I found this funny product at the supermarket" in the appropriate subreddit was met with insults and a bunch of negative comments. Asking for advice on a popular advice subreddit got me a bunch of insults.

    Here I have few answers, but those are genuine ones and so far they've been in good faith, no unprovoked insults, no sifting through someone's history to insult them based on a post from 3 years ago.

  • Something that happened to you but no one believes you?

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  • My mother regularly beat me, yelled at me and told me she wished I'd been aborted. Noone believed me because to outsiders she was the perfect housewive, always smiling, always friendly and happy. My friends and teachers only told me how lucky I was to have such a nice and caring mother and that I shouldn't tell lies about her.

    Luckily, my husband believes me but he's never met her since I went no contact years ago. But while I was still living with my parents noone ever believed me.