Awesome, you got it!
I've also added the state programs information to my original comment, so I'm glad you brought it up.
I was kind of blown away when i first found about this and got into a long talk with a ranger who explained it all to me, so I certainly understand your skepticism.
Up until that point, I literally knew nobody who cut down their own Christmas trees, and now a few of my friends also get their own trees every year.
6 foot trees have fairly thin trunks, so all you need is any trail saw, I've even used a hatchet, and you'll harvest the tree in a manner of minutes.
A direct retelling wouldn't be allowed to air. Murdering your wife in Christ's name for not cooking you dinner, divinely owning slaves as an entitled Christian, lobster sending you to christian hell; the production wouldn't get very far.