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573
Joined
3 yr. ago

  • “Smooth as an android’s bottom”

  • Velcro

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  • I say the President of the United States is a stage 9 dumbass.

  • Aww! Poor kitty.

  • Well, stereotypes are lazy humor, and I’m lazy & my life is a joke - so you’ve got me there.

  • You could be a horse. We don’t know.

  • He’s a narcissist. Walmart is making him look bad by highlighting something bad he’s done.

  • I’m not the one making dumb generalizations. Fuck off with your stereotypes.

  • I’m an American. I weigh about 140 lbs (63.5 kg). I’m about 5.75 ft (1.75 m) tall. Am I fat?

  • Only if he promises not to come back.

  • I have a bunch of them.

  • Eek. I have no idea. I’ll blame autocorrect.

  • They’re just weird because so many fast food chains come & ho the go in the US, it’s hard to even keep track - but Long John Silvers; a shitty fish & chips place which is never busy, never seems to have any customers at all, somehow stays in business.

  • Yes.

  • trump gets to keep the jet after he leaves (assuming he leaves). The jet goes with him. By way of his “presidential library fund.”

  • It’s all in the reflexes.

  • (c )(c )

  • My cat has been inadvertently conditioned to believe that whenever someone comes home, she’s to be fed. So if my wife gets home from work first, cat gets fed. If I get home after, cat tries to get fed again. My wife & I have to check with each other to make sure the cat’s not playing us.

  • Yeah that’ll keep government spending down.

    ( /s, obviously)