Don't get an ender unless you want your hobby to be working on the printer. That's fine, but it's not the same as having something ready to go when you unbox it.
Prusa printers are quality and open source; very much worth supporting if you have the money. Your hobby will be printing things for other things if you get one.
Bambu printers are cheap, but not open source. However, you will spend most of your time actually making stuff instead of fixing the printer.
Cheap, reliable, open source/modifiable. Pick two.
Well, I'd say the start menu peaked in Windows 7, where it only showed good local results, but it is still the best way to open something I know the name of.
Worst part is, given the lack of leverage, that whip might cause less damage, and possibly even do what the driver thinks it will; speed up the enslaved people. But it won't be for the reasons the slaver expected it to.
And completely fails the "no gore" requirement.