I hear this all the time but honestly US healthcare sucks so much. Doctors are pushed by their companies to care about quantity of patients over actual care
It seems to me that you’re very focused on the end result of ‘issue is solved’ potentially without understanding and/or acknowledgement of the other person’s efforts to solve the issue on their own.
Of course they should take the time to reciprocate when you’re the one seeking resolution.
I guess I am focused on the issue being solved but only for everyone.
Listening to someone and allowing them time to vent to their own conclusion is to take part of their emotional journey. They may want your solutions eventually, but they want to have the human connection of going through that journey together so that way you have all the context for their feelings/stress.
People don’t come to others for help and want to defend their previous actions. They just want to say that they’re frustrated, this is what they did, this is what happened, and maybe that’s all they want. Listening = validation of the human experience. Maybe after venting, they’ll want some solutions.
This is insightful!
Personally I have a hard time telling if someone wants a venting session or a solutions session. So I just straight up ask what they need and if they’ll want to check in on the solutions after venting. This saves you the emotional labor required to try to help someone that doesn’t want it and keeps the chance of frustration/unfulfillment low for both parties
That's a great method. I guess I can't tell as well.
Family though is a mixed bag. Unless both parties are operating under the same expectations, it’ll lead to what you described. Understandable that you just don’t get it since the fault is not on you
Yeah family can sometimes be the hardest especially when emotions are high, no one acts with reason.
Thanks for your reply. What is the solution then beyond listening and trying to solve the issue? If I cannot experience what they experience, what can be done?
Trilium is nice because it runs local first but also has the server side to sync too and work as a web app. Meaning I can access it anywhere and on my phone. I run it on docker on my server then on Linux on everything else.
I run memos on docker on my server as well as a web app. There is an iPhone app MoeMemos but they don’t have offline use yet. Good thing about memos over my notebook is that I can easily tag and search things. Bad thing is my server goes offline and I’m not home then I don’t have those notes. Good thing I send backups to other servers every 10 minutes.
Some other tools I use which might be interesting to you include Paperless-ngx for organizing and tagging PDFs. I use Zotero for work PDFs though because I need the exact citations. I also use Nextcloud to sync my files across devices to make sure the 1000 of notes and PDFs are backed up, though trilium backups well already.
I have had fights with Nextcloud in the past but somehow I got it working well this time. Only using it for syncing though none of their other crap.
I also know of Joplin which like Logseq has offline app note taking on all devices.
I’m far along in my PhD so I’d say I have 9 plus years of good note taking experience. My current method has three parts. I take memos of every random thought either in my notebook by hand or in the memos app selfhosted. Anything worth while I write in my notes application trilium and add enough tags that I can connect my ideas.
It might be helpful to note how I did my PhD prelims notes for reading 80 books then being tested on them. I wrote stream of consciousness notes and citations as I read them made myself 2 page standardized summaries per book. This is helpful because I first go back to the summary and if that isn’t enough the SOC notes and if that isn’t enough reread the book.
Ever since I setup a caldav server I’ve been good about doing reminders now that my phone and computer are connected on this. One for family and one for work.
I recently watched a video on using a notebook or journal in which the speaker said we often never finish a notebook because we make up rules and don’t live up to them then never finish using the notebook. Recently I’ve taken this to heart and write everything in one book. Random thoughts, to dos, diary. All there.
I’ve also started keeping documentation notes for my research, servers, and life. Good to learn something fun or important and write it down.
I am very adamant about my notes being privately hosted on my servers or handwritten.
Would this delete the religion or make the religion undeniably false? I’m asking from the historical fact he existed as a human. If he definitely did not exist but it continued to exist idk if that would change much. If Christianity never existed in sure we would be speaking Arabic.
I hear this all the time but honestly US healthcare sucks so much. Doctors are pushed by their companies to care about quantity of patients over actual care